Sunday, December 5, 2010

Whose fault, the infidelity Part 2

Abraham, Boulder, CO  6/5/2005

Continued from Part 1.

Guest (rambling a bit): It's just baffling. I'm trying to get clarity here in that you say, on the one hand, how someone treats you is about you so much more than it is about them. So, maybe he wasn't violent with anyone else, that was my fault. (Snort). And yet, our wedding vows are to be "we'll see how it goes, good feels good, bad feels bad, un, we'll just see how it goes." But then if we focus on one thing out of 6000 that is good, 6000 things that aren't good, then all the other thing will drop away.

Abe: So are you telling us that you met someone who had one good quality in 6000 bad qualities and you developed a relationship with this person?

Guest: Okay, I'm being dramatic.  I tried to focus on the good. But that went away when we got him sober, quite frankly, this chemistry, and earth shattering sex, and yadda yadda yadda. There was more than that. It was an adventure. It was thrilling. It was all these things, and... (exasperated sigh).

Abe: So why are you heartbroken?

Guest: Because I've feel I've let myself down.

Abe: But why are you heartbroken? When you use the word "heartbroken" it's particularly pointed, what's it pointed at?

Guest: Because I want this love that I dream. And I couldn't give it to him, unconditionally; I couldn't love him through it.

Abe: But hear what you're saying. What you're saying is over time I've created what I consider to be the perfect relationship and it's out here being held for me in vibrational escrow. And I so wanted this person to be that, and he wasn't. So we want to say to you in very logical terms, so he's only one in a few million who aren't it, but that doesn't mean that it cannot still come to be.  So why the self-torture about him not matching your dream?

Guest: Because we create it all and I was very arrogant before I met him. I thought I'm with Abraham. I understand this that and the other. I've got it going on. And yet, I called this in? Hello? Sigh. Where do I go from here?

Abe: Well, It's just part of that post-manifestational awareness that we were talking about. IOW, sometimes you have to have an experience to clarify. Do you think that through the experience that what's being held for you in Vibrational Escrow is even shaper and clearer than it was before? Did you do any amending during this experience? So don't you think that now your future reality has even more potential to please you than it did before because of this experience?

IOW, this is what we were talking about earlier, and you are the quintessential example of the reason that we say it. We want so much for you to make peace with where you are. And instead of making peace with where you are, you are beating up on who you are. You're saying, "I did something wrong. I should have known better."

And we say how do you figure anything out if it is not through the exposure to the experience? And so all that happened in this episode of your life is that you you wanted your dream relationship so much that you made a decision based on action without really taking the emotional journey in a full way. And there's no problem with doing that because all that happened as it unfolded was that it showed to you  that this wasn't a perfect match.

That would be like Jerry and Esther from Phoenix on their way to San Diego and taking a wrong turn and heading off into the desert, and then being so mad at themselves that they headed off into the desert that they don't feel worthy of correcting their course and ever getting back to San Diego - just spinning around out in the desert endlessly and saying, "We're so bad. We should have known better. How did we do this stupid thing?"

And we would say instead of beating up on yourself and running around in circles 'til you run out of gas or water, why not get hold of the map? Why not figure out what it is that you want? Why not get headed back in the direction of what you want?

And that's where making peace with yourself comes in. What you want to begin saying is, "Hey, I did the best that I knew how to do then. And I was so eager. He did sort of trick me. He did pretend to be the person that I really wanted him to be. And I let my head lead me, rather than my gut lead me. I let what I wanted be stronger than what I knew.  I felt reservations. I felt plenty of reservations, but I so wanted this to be the one that I disregarded my reservations, and I went along with it only to discover that when you disregard reservations, and there's really a reason for the reservation, the reason for the reservations gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger."

Because when there is vibrational variance between who I am and what I say I want and what and what I am allowing myself to have or be or do in this moment, my guidance system is always telling me that, so we can understand how you might be saying to us, I am a little upset that I didn't follow my guidance better. And we say how do you think anyone figures how to follow their guidance? You watch a baby walk and fall down you don't say "get up you little dummy." (laughter). You appreciate the effort and you know that he'll gain his balance. In time, he'll be running and having a good time.

And so when you don't go exactly the way you want to go, you gotta stop saying, "You stupid, little dummy." You gotta start saying, "Hey, that was interesting. Hmmm. Now I understand more clearly what those feelings were about and once it manifested,  I can see the vibrational matches and I just wanted so much to be a deliberate creator and I want so much to get it right and I wanted I wanted so much to get this one thing right that I've wanted for so long."

And we say, you never get it done, and you cannot get it wrong. So you had some experiences that were uncomfortable. We understand that and we do not wish uncomfortable experiences on you. But what we do know is that you've gotta give yourself a break and say, "Hey, I attracted that to me because it was active in my vibration in some way  and now I got the full dose of what was active in my vibration. I think I'm going to do a little cleaning up of my vibration before I let the next one in, you see.

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

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