To Quit Smoking/Change Bad Habits Ask What Are You Saying Yes To?

Abraham-Hicks (tape), G-02/18/95

Guest: A thing I have a lot of resistance with is to quit smoking. I've quit three times a year for about the last nine years, but I know I like it, but then I still feel ambivalent about it.

Abraham: It's interesting because even your decision is resistant because you're talking about not doing something. In other words, you're saying, "I have resistance in quitting." And so, let's talk about this just a little bit. If you could smoke and not feel resistance, the smoking would not be of any detriment. It's not the smoking that makes you sick, it's resistance. The reason that smoking is becoming more and more detrimental is because people believe it's bad but they're doing it anyway -- and whenever you do something that you believe you shouldn't do, there is extraordinary resistance.

To do something that you believe is right, there's no resistance. Or to not do something you believe is wrong, there's no resistance -- but to believe that it's bad for you and to do it anyway, that's where the resistance is.

We think that the struggle you're having with it is because there's a part of you that is wanting you to know -- and to assist others in knowing -- that it is not the cigarettes that are the problem. It is the resistance that is the problem. So when you say, "I want to stop smoking," we would say, well, what is it you do want? You're saying "no" to smoking, which really what you're saying is "no" to sickness or "no" to disapproval of others or "no" to being banished in restaurants or in offices. You're saying "no" to disapproval mostly, or "no" to declining health.


So what are you saying "yes" to? "I want to have a vital, happy life. I want to feel the best I can feel in my body. I want to harmonize with people as much as possible." As you begin talking about what you say "yes" to, what you will begin noticing is that sometimes the "yes" to harmony will be stronger maybe than the "yes" to cigarettes, or maybe they are not separate. "Maybe I can have my cigarettes and have all of that too."

We, some years ago, saw smoking as very beneficial to people because they usually did it purposefully to relax. It was a time that they sort of put everything else down, they went to a specific place to do it, they relaxed, they breathed deeply while they were doing it. Don't you see people, very often, as they are drawing in the smoke, don't you see them sort of relaxing and basking as the Energy flows through them? Can't you see them sort of using it as an opportunity to release resistance? And if you could enjoy every cigarette you smoke, not by saying, "to hell with you who thinks I should go to the smoking section..." -- in other words, as you resist the laws; as you resist the non-smokers who are so pious in their pushing against you; or as you resist anything about it that you don't like -- that's resistance. Jerry talked about the holes in his clothes that he was putting there or the stains on his fingers that he was putting there, and even as you resist those things you disallow the Well-being. So what we encourage you to do is, rather than saying, "I want to stop smoking," we would encourage you to begin saying, "I want to allow the Energy to flow. What I'd really like is to find a way to let the Energy flow -- I'd like to have my flow and smoking too. I'd like to be able to smoke and have Energy flow through me at the same time."

The advocates against smoking would not be very happy to hear us, but they are wrong. They misunderstand. It is not a disease that kills you; it's resistance that kills you. It's not smoking that kills you; it's resistance that kills you. It's not a disease that makes you unhappy; it's resistance. In other words, you have been misinformed. So if you believe, as we do, that smoking is not inherently bad for your health, would you want to stop?

Guest: No, the only reason I want to stop is because people I care about, care about me smoking, you know what I mean?

Abraham: Yes, because they love you and they think it's bad for you. They have decided that if you smoke you can't be well. And so, you're wanting to seek their approval by doing what they want. The resistance you have is not to smoking. The resistance you have is having to stand on your head to please others. The resistance that you have is promoting conditional love. In other words, they're saying to you, "I can't feel good about you as long as you're smoking. I'm afraid you're going to die. I can't allow the pure, positive Energy to flow through me as long as you're smoking. You need to change what you're doing in order for me to feel good."

And your resistance is that every part of your Nonphysical being knows that it's not your job to change your behavior so that they can feel better. You can't change your behavior in enough ways to make them feel better. You quit smoking, and then they'll want you to lose weight, and you lose weight, and then they'll want you to dress better, and then you dress better, and they'll want you to buy a different kind of car, and then you buy a different kind of car, and they want you to move to the state where they live, and then you will move to the state where they live, and they'll want you to let your hair grow out, and then they'll want you to cut it and then they'll want you to make it a different color and then they'll want you to act your age and then they'll want you...in other words, you just can't stand on your head in enough different ways to make disconnected people happy, because what you're doing, isn't what's bothering them anyway. It's their own disallowance of the Energy. And to just play into that by standing on your head only perpetuates this myth about conditional love, you see.

And so, what you're wanting to say to those who love you who say, "I don't want you to smoke because I don't want you to be sick," say to them, from your place of knowing, "Hey, I'm strong and well! Everything's all right here. Actually, this smoking soothes me. I'm a lot less likely to die of a heart attack when I smoke than if I were to quit.

If I stopped smoking now it would aggravate me!"

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