Abraham: An Appropriate Amount of Grief?

Abraham, Kansas City, KS  09/14/05

Abraham: How do you use your imagination?

Guest: I can't imagine not feeling grief if somebody that I love dies. And yet, you seem to be saying, "just get over it."  Is there an appropriate amount of grief? It's gotta be natural. If my dog died, I would just be floored.

Abraham: The perfect amount of grief is none, but you see...

Guest: How do you do that? You have your beloved dog there, and then he's not there and the relationship is different.

Abraham: We're going to go back and address that specifically, but before we do, we want to catch you in the trap that we've laid for you.

Guest: Okay. I'm willing.

Abraham: You're saying grief just seems inevitable under certain circumstances, and we say we know that there are things that are going to happen that are going to make you feel that way, but the emotion, the visceral feeling, that feeling in your body of grief, or fear, or despair, no matter what word you assign to it,  in every single case, it is because of your perception that something bad has happened to which you are having this awful emotional response and over which you have no control.

And we're just wanting to point out to you that while it is absolutely normal to have kneejerk responses to things that are happening, because of course you want that person, or that animal, to be in your experience longer,  you do have the ability to focus your way out of that grief.

We would not to say to anyone that you should not be sad when your mother dies, or when your father dies,  but we do want to say that the reason that you are sad is you've focused yourself in a way that is causing that sadness and you could just as easily focus yourself in a way that isn't so sad.

We watch people around funerals sometimes focusing in a way that brings them to their knees and makes them wail, and sometimes they focus in a way where the whole room laughs where they feel joy even though the circumstances have not changed. And it is that awareness that you can focus yourself...because you see the fear itself, or the negative emotion itself, the reason it feels so awful is, without exception, because of your perception of loss of control. Think about that.

© Abraham Hicks Publications

Death: What is the Actual Process?

Abraham, Burlingame, CA - 03/11/00 

Guest: I've heard you talk an a lot about death in the last year that... [Abe: We thought we were talking about life.] The thing that I'm still not complete with, is the actual process of the transition itself. I can think about after the transition and be very comfortable with that, but if I think about drowning or falling out of an airplane or some other horrible way of dying, I don't feel real comfortable with that.

Abraham: Do you ever have a bad dream? [Yes] And do you ever wake up right in the middle of it? [Yes] That's what death is like in those "horrible" situations you just described. In other words, right in the middle of something that you feel would be abhorrent or intolerable, you wake up into the reality of who you really are -- and it is like a distant dream that is not in your now.

[snip]

And so, we can understand how you would be a little confused about how you would feel about it. But we have to say to you, you live in this Universe that is always yielding good things to you, and that the transition into Nonphysical is like, in one fell swoop, leaving behind all worry and fear. But what happens is, you see it as something not wanted, and so you push against it. Most people are pushing so hard against this death thing that they are not allowing themselves to truly live. So, there are few of you that are really living in the free, good feeling, of this moment, that you could if you were releasing your fear of death.

If we were standing in your physical shoes we would begin saying, on a regular basis, "I love this physical experience. And as long as there are things that are drawing my attention, and as long as I am able to allow the Energy to flow through me, I want to run rambunctiously in this physical body. I want a long, healthy, happy physical experience. And when there are no longer things that are calling me, I will make my transition quickly."

In this physical time/space reality, it's pretty easy for you to utilize the contrast. You are becoming a global consciousness. You have lots of experiences, early in life experience. There is always more for you, but often you find yourself not able to find something more that you are wanting. But your Inner Being is never in that position. And in the moment that you spend time saying, "Well, I'm really not interested in that, and I'm really not interested in that," and you are not able to muster something that is summoning life through you, your Inner Being always says, "Well, there's plenty going on here, come on with us." So there is a withdrawal of your consciousness from here -- just like getting up and walking out of a movie that's no longer pleasing you, or leaving a conversation that doesn't feel good any more. But your consciousness does not miss a beat.

And so, the only question that we really want to talk about, relative to the death process, is not about the moment of death, that's a piece of cake. What we want to talk to you about is how much you are willing to endure not being fully connected to Source Energy before you make that decision.

We would far rather that all of you walk out and get run over by a truck, in the moment that you leave this building, than that you spend long lingering years worrying about one thing and another, and pinching the Life Force off, little by little. It is much more effective to just get it over with, reemerge into Nonphysical -- and then make another run at something that will summon more Energy through you.

That's what the beasts of your planet do. They come and go very easily because they're not worried about death. They know they're eternal beings. They are always fully focused in life. And they come to their full maturity faster and easier in life experience, and so they come in, they become mature, they experience the deliciousness of life, they make their transition -- and they come again, and again, and again and again. And you are the same.

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Abe speaks to a Mother whose son was murdered

Abraham, San Rafael, CA 7/25/04

He's in such a good place of Pure Positive Energy, while you are still in despair and rage, you don't have access to him. You think that the loss of contact with your son that is the heart of your discomfort when what it really is, is the loss of full connection with your Source!

And now your son and your Source are vibrationally in the same place, so reaching for a re-establishment of a relationship wtih one will cause you to re-establish a relationship with the other.

And that is the glory of death. We just love it when someone dies because it stimulates within you the desire to reconnect with joy you have not yet known in this physical life experience.

As you begin playing the game of moving up the emotional scale and you begin receiving these communications, instead of hurting you, they will thrill you. Goose bumps will move through you. So. Good to know!

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Abe Vid: The Vortex Never Leaves You

Abraham counsels a woman whose parents are dying on people leaving us.

Abe on Suicide: Life Cannot Be Lost

Abraham, Alaska Cruise 2007

There is life, then there is physical extension of life, and then there is that which is the return to that which is life. There is no death. And so you cannot NOT save a life because a life cannot be squandered, a life cannot be lost.  (SAQ Blogger says: Note the double negative in that sentence.) You cannot cease to be. And so you are saying that I should save the sanctity of a physical life experience.

A dear woman had been coming to our gatherings for many years and in time introduced her daughter also, and not long after her daughter took her own life. And her mother, of course, was devastated and then mad at us and at her because she thought that our knowledge of no death had in some way given her daughter permission to take her life in your words and re-emerge into pure positive energy. 

And as we visited with her, we said to her, we explained what the death experience is and the freedom and well being that her daughter is experiencing and we said in an attempt to soothe her wouldn't you rather that your daughter is in this place of pure connection to who she is rather than that uncomfortable, painful mindset that she was in before? And her mother said, no! And it really speaks to the way that most humans view this so called sanctity of life. "Yes, I would prefer that you're here suffering and miserable rather than re-emerged and feeling wonderful." And we really think it's worth getting your thoughts around. And we know that it's not the easiest thing to know and understand, and we know that most of the world, as we said to our friend earlier, would not agree with us on this!

Most people really believe that under *all* conditions it's better, no matter how miserable you are, to stay in this physical body. And we are certainly not promoting suicide, although every death is that you know? Every death is suicide because no one can do anything to you that is outside of your vibrational offering, and your vibrational offering, by way of Law of Attraction is creating everything! And so we think that it's really one of those things where you do the best you can to express the Joy of life experience through the clarity of your example.

Abe: Death and Spasmodic Grief

Q: My girlfriend's mother just died -- suddenly, about a month ago. And she goes through these periods of overwhelming grief. How can I offer comfort? How can I best comfort her -- when she does not want to be steered to, well, just think happy thoughts? She gets focused on the loss and loneliness.

Abe: Well, you cannot buck her current, and it really doesn't serve her, or you either, to try to ask her to feel differently than she feels. So soothe yourself by saying, "As time passes, this will soften." Soothe yourself by remembering who your girlfriend is and by remembering how stable she is and by remembering her love of life and by remembering how easily she feels good. And by acknowledging that she feels good much of the time anyway, and by acknowledging that there will be trigger points that will make her feel the loss more. By acknowledging that it's getting better and better.

And so you have to decide who are you? In other words, are you going to commiserate in her sorrow and `disempower' yourself as she is choosing to do (even though she doesn't know she's know she's choosing to do it because it feels like it's just overtaking her)? Or are you stronger than that? Are you able to stand there in a better-feeling place? Are you able to acknowledge that death is not a bad thing but a joyous thing and that is something that everybody's going to do?

We think it's a really interesting thing how you all fall apart at the idea of death, when all of you are going to die. We do not think you are practicing death in a very powerful way. Like we were talking earlier -- our friend was talking about how... he's going to quit smoking in six months, and even if the world comes to an end, he's still going to do it. And we say, think about what you've been doing with the subject of your personal death. Every time someone dies, or nearly so, so many of you look at that as something really, really not wanted. Death, after all, is a synonym for punishment. And we think that when someone dies it would be very good right now to begin practicing what you now know about death: it's this inevitable new step into a new perspective. It is the continuation of who you are from a more powerful vantage point. It is awareness of All-That-Is from broader view. It is energy that now still has clear view of all that is you.

Your girlfriend does not need to separate herself from her mother. She has more opportunity to experience the energy and the clarity and the knowledge of her mother now than she has ever had because her mother is part of the equation that's in a place of pure, positive energy. And we certainly understand that feeling of loss, because you cannot behold her or smell her, you cannot participate with her in the way that you once did. But, oh, the relationship can be more than it has ever been now that she has re-emerged into pure, positive energy.

So we would begin saying things such as, "I do not believe your mother is gone. I believe your mother is like us -- I believe your mother is eternal. I do not believe your mother is away from us. I do not believe you can receive her right now in your agony, but I believe that is aware of us."

Just relax in all of it and tell yourself that this, too, shall pass, this discomfort will fade and the relationship will continue.

Usually, the greatest discomfort that we feel physical beings feeling around the subject of death is a feeling of I should have done something more, I should have said more, I should have completed something. And we say, nothing is ever finished. There is no finish line. It's like a football game that has unlimited time -- you can still score another touchdown, you can still run down the field some more. There is no ending place in this eternal life that we are all about, you see.

The beginnings and endings that you call birth and death are more about helping you to focus than anything else. But they really are illusions. You are eternal beings. And when you re-emerge into nonphysical, you do not become less-than. You don't become some nebulous, unfocused energy that just swirls around in nothingness.

You assume that perspective of all-knowingness. You remember all that you are, not just the personality that you were.

But as your daughter or someone who loves you recalls that which you were and approaches it from a positive vibrational standpoint, you can reconstitute that energy and be, for a moment in time, that focused energy, and it is very satisfying to someone who's made their transition into nonphysical to take all of that power and clarity of nonphysical and then have it re-summoned by someone who's focusing from a pure, positive place.

It is delicious to talk to our live friends from our dead standpoint. We all enjoy it immensely.

Los Angeles, CA, 2/1/03