Abraham on the Relationship We All Want

Abraham - San Diego 2/7/04B

Abraham: Do you know the relationship that you are all looking for? Do you know what it really is?

You want the relationship between you and You. And when you meet a person who looks fondly at you, or who is appreciative of you, or someone you look fondly upon, or someone you appreciate, it just hooks you up to your Inner Being, which is what you want all along.

So the relationship you are all looking for is the relationship between you and you. And everything else is just helpful in that, really. Don’t you find that interesting? That what you really want is a reason to vibrationally connect with who you really are.

And so, you ask so much of people because you say to them, “You need to be the one who causes me to feel good.” And what we want to say to all of you is if any of you are without the relationship of your dreams right now, that’s a wonderful thing because now you have an opportunity to work on the relationship that really matters first and foremost. And then, in that connection, the relationship of your dreams will come. But you are going to discover the relationship of your dreams is really your own Inner Being. It’s that infusion of clarity and confidence and wellness, that’s what you are reaching for.

And it is nice to have a human friend who holds you as their object of attention and adores you right into your connection, but we want you experience greater independence than that. We want you to say to you lovers, “I love you, but I don’t live for you because Source Energy flows through me. You are a catalyst to my wellbeing, but you are not essential to my wellbeing because I’ve got that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief. And I have relieved myself all the way into my full connection of who I really am. And now we can just dance and play together.”

Can you feel how you take them off the hook? In other words, do you know how many men would flock to you…? (ALL OF THEM!) …if they knew that you would allow them to be as they are and you would not hold them responsible for your happiness?

That’s what everyone wants. How much bondage is there in believing that your happiness depends on me, so I’ve got to figure out what you want, and stand on my head in all those different ways, and it’s not even possible!

The greatest gift you can give anyone is to be happy. And we will take that further. The greatest gift you can give to any partner, past, present or future is to be so connected with who you truly are that they are irrelevant to your connection. And when they are irrelevant to your connection, then you are going to have a really good time together.

Seth on Riots and Natural Disasters Part B

Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 665

For many people, a natural calamity provides their first personal experience with the realities of creaturehood’s connection with the planet. Under such conditions men who feel a part of nothing, of no structure or family or country, can understand in a flash their comradeship with the earth, their place upon it and its energy; through suddenly recognizing that relationship they feel their own power for action.

On quite a different level, riots often serve the same purpose, where the release of energy, for whatever reasons, introduces a group of individuals to the intimate recognition that highly concentrated vitality exists. They may not have found it earlier in their lives.

This recognition can lead them—and often does—to seize their own energy and use it in a strong creative manner. A natural catastrophe or a riot are both energy baths, potent and highly positive in their ways despite their obvious connotations.

In your terms this in no way absolves those who start riots, for example, for they will be working within a system of conscious beliefs in which violence begets violence. Yet even here individual differences apply.

The inciters of riots are often searching for the manifestation of energy which they do not believe they possess on their own. They light and start psychological fires, and are as transfixed by the results as any arsonist. If they understood and could experience power and energy in themselves they would not need such tactics.

As racial problems may be worked out on many levels, through a riot or a natural disaster, or a combination of both, according to the intensity of the situation on a psychological level; and as physical symptoms can be pleas for help and recognition, so can natural misfortunes be utilized by members of one portion of the country, or one part of the world, to obtain aid from other portions.

More to come. (Back to Part A.)

A Dad's Abraham Advice to his Children

Blogger's note: This is an email forwarded to Jerry and Esther and published online from a very present Abraham Dad to his kids after he attended a series of seminars:

To My Dear Children,

I think a father can only write a letter like this once a lifetime. It will be relatively short and to the point. But print this and reference it for the next 100 years...

You have been raised in love. That is unarguable... You even finally have come to love each other, as well as translate your love natures into healthy and blessed relationships with current partners.

The big buzz with you guys has been: “What will I do? Be? What profession? When?Where?” I have been on the sidelines, coaching, listening, supporting, counseling—as you each continue to parachute into your lives as loving beings.

However, I’ve felt restricted in communicating with you. The bandwidth of possibilities, choices, the possible and probable futures were missing to communicate the other key component besides Love, Truth, and its attendant clarity. Thank goodness for the living confirmation of Divine Intelligence and the clarity of teaching that you have now witnessed with Abraham. 

And what you heard:

You have a living, all-Knowing, Godlike Inner Being, who absolutely knows what you want and helps you get it. You will have whatever you summon. No exceptions. And if you guys REALLY take this seriously and learn this system, it will put Harvard, Stanford degrees, Rosie O’Donnell, Arthur Anderson, Bonnie, Andy, etc. in the permanent rear view mirror. 

Tag—You Are It! THIS IS YOUR EDGE. TAKE THIS SYSTEM TO HEART. 

Find your place of joy as tho’ it is the most important search of your life, and when you find it - STAY THERE, and from there, orchestrate those events that you want. Talk about knowing somebody in High Places. It’s you! And the Universe and your life will absolutely mirror whatever you believe they will give you.

So, Dad’s advice: Be insatiable. Demand and expect the best. Become churning Vortexes for whatever you desire. Order the best meal in the house. And then find a new best meal. You are a fully enfranchised part of the power of life itself. Learn that. Feel that. Allow that. That is your MASTER’s degree.

YOU CANNOT FIT INTO THE WORLD. EVERYTHING YOU SEE WILL CONSISTENTLY ALTER ITSELF TO REFLECT WHAT YOU SEE YOURSELF AS. SO EXPAND AND ENRICH YOURSELF INTO THIS LARGER SELF VIEW and your adventures, from this point on, will come to reflect this larger, happier and more empowered YOU.

This is the edge I can give you. I am proud to say that it is the ULTIMATE edge any parent can give their child. So the time approaches for your adulthood, and I wanted you to understand your TRUTH and to see the truth demonstrated in the light of day. Now walk and breathe and command this truth. Become the emerging gods/goddesses that you are. Bring in the money, friends, adventures, skills, and challenges. Your degrees are important. But if you ALLOW yourselves to grow and operate from your true stature, you will summon THE BEST.

Over and out,

Dad

Abraham: Did His Father Abandon Him or Free Him?

Abraham - San Francisco, CA 8/10/02

G: It's simple to say that he (his birth father) abandoned me, but now...

A: Or freed you.

G: I hadn't thought about it that way because

A: Freed you to be the chooser of your life without the influence of someone already undecided and unsure.

G: And troubled, he had...

A: Someone who wants more than anything to be of value. Who recognizes that he cannot guide his own life, what possibility does he have of guiding another...

G: Oh Abraham, this is wonderful.

A: ...and wisely said, "You'll do alright."

G: He used to spend a lot of his time in his fishing boat. He didn't, he was very much a loner.

A: He was much more a connected being than you have ever been allowed to believe that he was. Because those who wanted to justify to you his absence, had to make his being gone, wrong.

G: Ahhhh, exactly.

A:They couldn't let his absence be a noble thing, or a virtuous thing, or a guided thing, or a connected thing. It had to be a wrong thing. So you were spoon fed misinformation.

G: Because he got a lot of this ying, ying, yang from his family.

A: Of course he did. He did not stay put. And he did not allow them to pigeonhole him. And he refused to suffer in the ways that they chose to suffer.

G: Well now, because of the vibrational match, now Abraham, I did the very same thing. I fathered a child in another part of the world.

A: And then that child is blessed as you have been blessed.

G: Ahhhaaa. When I think of all the cheap melodrama I've gone through in my own head about all this. I don't have any guilt anymore. I freed him, too. Didn't I?

A: You did what so many of you intend to do. You come forth and provide an avenue for focused consciousness to have physical experience understanding that while guidance can be beneficial, that guidance is always coming from broader perspective and that Well Being is the order of things.

And so we're just using your example to sort of balance things out just a little bit. There's no right or wrong behavior. We're not saying it's wrong for a father to leave, or it's wrong for a father to stay. Or it's right to live in this way - wrong to live in that way. What we are saying is, you can't get it wrong. And your father didn't get it wrong. And you didn't get it wrong.

And anybody who's decided to make that wrong, is just using that as their temporary excuse to not allow themselves to have all of the riches that this environment is offering to them otherwise, you see.

You can use anything you want as your excuse to not allow Well Being in. And it is amazing how flimsy some of these excuses are. And on your world stage, many would say, "Abraham, this is far from a flimsy excuse...

We would focus in the more poignant now. We would make our relationship with our Source...

G: Oh, all right.

A: about things that you understand fully...

G: Yes, yes.

A: and not nebulous things you are piecing together. Since your father is not unhappy or unhealthy; since there is nothing that can be gained by going back and retracing it, then we just do not encourage it.

We encourage you instead to find something that is tangible in your NOW. And use that to activate your vibration and connect to your Source Energy, as a result of something that is more current.

It is exactly the reason that we think thses virtual realities are so lovely, and delicious, and life giving, and helpful. In other words, we would rather you get into a pure fantasy - than face any kind of factual reality, if the factual reality has the potential of taking you into a place that does not feel good.

Abe: You Cannot Disrespect Yourself and Get What You Want

Abraham, Ashville, 10/23/05

We are going to get all of you with this one!

You would all be all right with who you are if you had been making your decisions based upon how they feel to you all along, but it is because you have been trying to evaluate yourself through the eyes of others. 

Oh, it is really an interesting thing how whatever powers-that-be choose the way you should look. And then you compare with that and come short almost every time. Because they have AIR BRUSHES and really good lenses in their cameras.

You are so hard on yourselves when you are someplace different than where you want to be. And that is what this message is all about. You must soothe yourself into emotional comfort before your desires can become manifest. You cannot hold yourself in disrespect of self and get what you want.

More Abraham on Personal Safety

Abraham, Atlanta, 9/19/99

If you don't know that what you think and feel and what you get is always a vibrational match -- then every time somebody dies in an airplane, or every time somebody gets cancer and dies, you feel more vulnerable, because you don't understand the relationship between your vibration and what has happened.

As you feel vulnerable, then you gather in societal experiences where you try to gather together in groups in order to provide some sort of haven of safety. Because, after all, you believe there is great strength in numbers. You still see it, in your physical format, as "us against someone else." When in truth, there is no one against anyone....

Anything that Happens To You Is In Direct Response To Your Vibrational Offering.

You all have access to the Energy Stream. And anything that happens to you, no matter who you are or what you believe -- anything that happens to you has happened in direct response to whatever your vibrational offering is.

Seth pwns the Left and the Right back in 1973

Blogger's note: I can't emphasize enough, btw, that if you only get one Seth book, get this one. I can post bits and pieces, but the whole picture becomes viscerally more clear from reading the book in its entirety and having it around as a reference. Mine is in tatters. 

Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality,  Session 650

Many believe that it is “good” and morally superior to be Christian, white, wealthy and in excellent health. Now, the word “male” can also be added to this list of preferred attributes. These people may be of any age. They may come from any economic environment. Now if you happen to be Protestant, male, white, American, rich, and healthy, at least within the framework of your beliefs you can look at yourself with “clear” eyes. Your foundation is shaky, indeed, but at least you fit within it for the moment. You will notice that I added “Protestant” to our value system, as well as “American.” If, however, you hold this group of beliefs and you fall short - that is, if in some way you do not fit in - then even within that system you are in trouble.

In that chart of belief, disease, poverty, femininity to some extent, non-Christian concepts, and a non-Caucasian racial heritage, are all considered wrong to one degree or another.  Now: Any intrusion of other beliefs here will be considered threatening. Both racial problems and religious dissension will be rationalized from the standpoint of these beliefs. Some of my readers may consider themselves quite enlightened, believing, for example, in reincarnation as a series of consecutive lives.  However, they may then use that concept to justify their belief in the inferiority of other races. They may say that since an individual chose his or her problems in this life-deciding for instance to be born black, or poor, or both-that karma is being worked out; therefore such issues should not be adjusted through a change of law or custom. Period.

On the left side, looking at a second diagram, you will find people in this case, and in this country, of a more “liberal” frame of mind. But you will not find them quite as liberal if you understand that they are as prejudiced in one direction as the first group is in another.

Here we have a system of belief in which it is wrong to be white, American, or wealthy, or even at all well-off in financial terms. All of the distortions in Christianity are apparent, where the first group is blind to them, of course. Here, though, wealth and a white skin are not only bad, but obvious symptoms of moral deterioration. If the first system of beliefs sees money and goods as a sign of God’s blessing, the second group views all material possessions as evidence of spiritual decay.  Here the exotic is romanticized, the foreign held up, the picturesque seen as the real. Black skin or brown skin becomes the criteria of spiritual perfection, and poverty as a badge of honor to be worn not only proudly, but often to be used as an aggressive tool. The people who follow these belief systems think that they are right. Their living style, community affiliations, and political leanings will be in direct opposition to the “white-wealthy” ethic.

Now, if you happen to be black or brown, poor, and believe in this system, you will at least feel secure within it. If you are instead white and wealthy and hold such beliefs, you will think yourself quite inferior indeed, and do everything in your power to show how picturesque and liberal and open-minded and black or brown you can be while still being white, fairly well-off, and perhaps secretly addicted to your Christianity.  You will doubtlessly have Buddhas tastefully displayed, and Indian beads.”

If you're There, you can put this crap down.

Abraham, 2007 Alaskan Cruise

Guest: I have cognitive dissonance between my world of business, which I can play in and have fun, and the world you share of, the spiritual side. I, I found, you know, I wanted to sort of run away from it so I said, Let's go on cruise, it just happened to be an Abraham cruise, my wife was thrilled. And, I find that the business side is so easy and fun. And the spiritual side is a lot of work, for me.

Abraham: Well if your business side is easy and fun then you've got the spiritual thing down, and don't worry about it. [applause]

Guest: I'm there!

Abraham: Because there is not something that you're supposed to do. And there is not some vocabulary that we want you to learn. In other words, if you say, I have found something and when I focus upon it it thrills me and calls me forward, then we say, you have intuitively listened to your Guidance and you're right on track. And these words are superfluous.

Guest: I'm there .... I'm there!

Abraham: Yes, indeed. [big applause]

Abraham: Now he's going to the Lido bar. No point in listening to anymore of this crap ... We mean that in the nicest way. (Big Laughter from Group).

Seth on Birthdays

Seth, The Early Sessions, Book 4, Session 149

A short note to Ruburt.

After his birthday, immediately after, the day following, is an excellent day to give up his smoking habit. It is the most favorable day to begin such a venture, for him.

Immediately following his birthday his energies are more certain of themselves. The subconscious remembers the struggles of physical birth, and immediately following his birthday is a time of expansion. 

This is the end of the personal message to Ruburt.

Abe: Go to the Beach in Your Mind

Abraham advises a man who feels imprisoned because his employer is playing power games as he tries to transition to a career in speaking instead of his current job in sales (excerpted from Law of Attraction in Action DVD):

Partial text excerpt: 

No one can prevent you from anything when you line up with it, but when you focus upon them you're preventing yourself because you're splitting your energy, and then giving them the credit, and that's how people like that feel powerful.  They're just energy splitters, that's all. They're very good at convincing you to focus your mind in a way that splits your energy. Anyone that seems to have power over anyone that's all they're doing. They're just dancing such a flamboyant dance that you can't get your eyes off of them, and because you can't get your eyes of them, you've got your energy split, and then you're not powerful, but it's not because you can't be, it's because you're focused in a way that's keeping you from your power.

Seth Classic: Don't Neglect the Rational (Action).

Seth, The Magical Approach, Session 5, p. 55

In other words, the magical approach and the so-called rational one are to be combined in a certain fashion for best results. People sometimes smite you, telling of their intent to make money - or rather, to have it. They concentrate upon money, so they say, and await for it in full faith that it will be attracted to them because of their belief and concentration. They might do the point of power exercise, for example. They may also, however, have quit their jobs, ignored impulses to find other work, or to take any rational approaches, and rely upon, say, the magical approach alone. This does not work either, of course.

Seth Dissects a Fatal Car Crash as an Event

Seth: The Personal Sessions, Book 4, p. 304-5 (Also known as the Deleted Sessions), 7/17/78.

In the case of your newspaper story, the same kinds of events happened several different times in various ways to all of the people involved. At unconscious levels the results were known, and the seeming accident was a planned event—a play ready to happen when all parties involved found the circumstances apt.

The father (a Mr. Moore, killed at age 47) had other difficulties. He did not want to die of a long illness. He felt trapped. He wanted to leave his wife (who is 49) and yet could not bring himself to do so. The older woman (an aunt, killed at age 77) also wanted a quick death. The wife, however, also unconsciously aware of the events, would therefore share in them.

The children were also obviously involved, and the accident would give them a new lease on life, for they had sensed an overall pervading sense of despair that lay at the family’s center stone, so to speak.

Relatively speaking, they had become spiritually listless. In their own ways they felt that perhaps life had no meaning. Brought so close to death, their youthful strength rose, and while the tragedy will haunt them, still they will wonder why they were spared—and therefore seek for the meaning of their existence.

In a way they will feel special—saved from the ‘clutches of death.’ In perhaps a manner that appears strange, they will experience a new sense of their own validity, for if they were saved from death, then SOMETHING—if only the fates—must have found them worthy. This does not mean that they will not feel guilty also at their good fortune, but it does mean that their lives will for them have a special brilliance and a contrast, in whose light they will experience all the other events of their years.

The ‘victim car’—or rather its inhabitants, and the driver of the ‘killer car’ had alike reached out into probabilities, seeking the circumstances that would in fact occur. The children were not to be killed, for example, and in some near encounters in the past, their deaths would have been involved.

The father in many ways wanted to save face, so that his death should indeed appear accidental, and the result of someone else’s fault beside his own. He did not want to live into an old age—but more than that, life had lost its flavor for him. He had sired his children, loved as well as he could, done his job—but there was no contemplative life to look forward to, no greater love than the one with his wife—and that love while conventionally sound enough, did not content him.

He [the father] was looking for someone like the young boy, someone whose actions would result in his death without malice, a death that would in its way serve an important purpose. For the ‘accident’ saved the young man’s life, and this was our father’s final gift to the world. The boy was inclined toward suicide. He would not have taken anyone with him. He wanted to die, but also in an indirect fashion, in that he could not consciously shoot himself, while he could kill himself in an event that seemed to be accidental.

The boy was filled with guilt, but a guilt that had no name, no label – a psychological guilt that was the result of his upbringing, and that perhaps involved the existence of an older brother. He felt inferior to a sometimes terrifying degree.

He had nearly killed himself before in the same fashion, and also when not drinking. The accident gives him a specific event upon which to lay his guilt, but coming so close to death, his own instincts for life were re-aroused, so that he is literally given a second chance.

Now all these motives and feelings were well-known to the participants. This does not mean that they arose often to the conventional conscious mind, yet even then there were fairly frequent-enough thoughts, for example: What will happen if I hit another car when I am driving? Or how can I get out of this predicament—on the father’s part – while still saving face? How can I die without becoming ill, which I abhor, or without having my death labeled a suicide before my children?

The conventional conscious mind pretends, and pretends well. It pretends that accidents are possible, that death is an end, and it tries to ignore all of the great threads of feeling and intent that do not fit into that picture. It is a game of hide and seek, for emotionally all of the participants in that ‘accident’ were aware of the approaching event, and at the last moment it could have been avoided.”

There is nothing in man’s nature that makes such behavior essential. A true realistic exploration of the nature of experience would automatically study that kind of emotional interrelationship, but while your society delineates the inner particles of matter, it avoids the inner psychological ‘particles’ that form the most intimate experiences of your lives.”

(Amused:) It is a good accident that you read the article. Take your break.

Abe on Suicide: Life Cannot Be Lost

Abraham, Alaska Cruise 2007

There is life, then there is physical extension of life, and then there is that which is the return to that which is life. There is no death. And so you cannot NOT save a life because a life cannot be squandered, a life cannot be lost.  (SAQ Blogger says: Note the double negative in that sentence.) You cannot cease to be. And so you are saying that I should save the sanctity of a physical life experience.

A dear woman had been coming to our gatherings for many years and in time introduced her daughter also, and not long after her daughter took her own life. And her mother, of course, was devastated and then mad at us and at her because she thought that our knowledge of no death had in some way given her daughter permission to take her life in your words and re-emerge into pure positive energy. 

And as we visited with her, we said to her, we explained what the death experience is and the freedom and well being that her daughter is experiencing and we said in an attempt to soothe her wouldn't you rather that your daughter is in this place of pure connection to who she is rather than that uncomfortable, painful mindset that she was in before? And her mother said, no! And it really speaks to the way that most humans view this so called sanctity of life. "Yes, I would prefer that you're here suffering and miserable rather than re-emerged and feeling wonderful." And we really think it's worth getting your thoughts around. And we know that it's not the easiest thing to know and understand, and we know that most of the world, as we said to our friend earlier, would not agree with us on this!

Most people really believe that under *all* conditions it's better, no matter how miserable you are, to stay in this physical body. And we are certainly not promoting suicide, although every death is that you know? Every death is suicide because no one can do anything to you that is outside of your vibrational offering, and your vibrational offering, by way of Law of Attraction is creating everything! And so we think that it's really one of those things where you do the best you can to express the Joy of life experience through the clarity of your example.

Abe: Are you making the best use of your Life?

Abraham , Tarrytown, NY - 10/18/98

Everything is about life. The only question that, if we were standing in your physical shoes, we would ask ourselves is, "In this moment, am I making the best use of my life?" In other words, "As the idea of my mother comes, am I choosing the most uplifting thought about her? As I focus upon my mate, am I choosing the most uplifting thought? As I focus upon my physical body, am I choosing the most uplifting thought?"

And most of you are not. Most of you are choosing the loudest thought. Most of you are choosing the most present or the most obvious.

When the question is, "Am I making the best use of this moment, am I choosing the thought that is of the highest vibration -- which is the same thing to say as "Am I choosing the thought that feels the best?" Then you cannot help but live out your experience in the way that you have intended.

You Cannot Bargain with Vibration

Abraham, San Rafael, CA, 7-22-07

Most of you stand in this place of defending why you need or want something better. You say, as if you were pleading to your mother—you did that when you were little: I NEED it! I REALLY NEED it!

“Mother, I really WANT this.” “Well, we all want things, son. You don’t get what you want.” Many mothers say that, misguided beings that they are. “You don’t get what you want.” “Well, I NEED it.” “Oh, well that’s different. How badly do you need it?” “I will DIE if I don’t have it.”

As you plead your neediest cases, that’s when Congress puts the money there. That’s when your mother gives up the goods. That’s when people who are weary of your complaining, cave in and say, “Alright TAKE the car!”

But we’re wanting you to understand that even though humans may cave in to your negative demands or pleading, the Universe never, EVER gives you what you want, when you’re beating the drum of what you don’t want. Everytime you are justifying how much you NEED something, you are vibrationally preventing yourself from having what you want. You cannot offer the frequency of NEED, and DESIRE, at the same time. You cannot be a vibrational match to what you want, and its absence, at the same time.

Pathwork: The Forces of Love, Eros, Sex

Blogger Note: This post is an anomaly - neither Seth, nor Abraham, but material from a woman named Eva Pierrakos called The Pathwork. The style is more formal and "religious" than more current teachings, but I hope the reader will bear with that because the information is valuable.  I have broken it into a few extra paragraphs for easier online readability.

Pathwork Guide, Lecture No. 44 (link accesses .pdf file), 01/15/59

THE FORCES OF LOVE, EROS, AND SEX

Tonight I would like to discuss three particular forces in the universe. These are the love force, as it manifests between the sexes, the erotic force, and the sex force. These are three distinctly different principles, or forces, that manifest on each plane in a different way—from the highest to the lowest. Humanity has always confused these three principles. In fact, it is often ignored that these three separate forces exist and what the differences are. There is so much confusion about this among human beings that it will be quite useful for my friends to hear once how it is in reality.

The sex force is the creative force on any level of existence. In the highest spheres, the same sex force creates spiritual life, spiritual ideas, spiritual concepts and principles as it also does on your earth sphere. But in the lower planes, the pure and unspiritualized sex force creates life as it manifests on that particular sphere, or, let us say, the outer shell or vehicle of the entity destined to live in this sphere.

The erotic force is one of the most potent forces in existence, and it has a great amount of momentum and impact. It is supposed to be the bridge between sex and love, yet it rarely is. In a spiritually highly developed person, the erotic force is used to carry, so to speak, the entity from the erotic experience—which in itself is of short duration—into the permanent state of pure love. The strong momentum of the erotic force alone carries the soul just so far and not further. It is bound to dissolve if the personality does not know how to learn to love, if he or she does not cultivate all the qualities and requirements necessary for true love. Then, and then only, the spark of the erotic force will constantly remain alive. Alone, without love, it cannot. It burns itself out. And this, of course, is the trouble with marriage. Since most people are incapable of pure love, they are also incapable of the ideal marriage.

Eros seems in many ways similar to love. It brings forth impulses in a human being that he would not have otherwise, impulses of unselfishness and affection he might have been incapable of before. This is why eros is so very often confused with love. But it is equally often confused with the pure sex instinct, which also manifests as a great urge.

I would like to show you, my friends, what the spiritual meaning and purpose of the erotic force is, particularly as far as humanity is concerned. Without eros, many people would never experience the great feeling and beauty that is contained in pure love. They would never get the taste of it, and their yearning for love would remain deeply covered in their soul. Their fear of love would constantly remain the stronger urge. 

Eros is the nearest thing to love the undeveloped spirit can experience. It lifts the soul out of her sluggishness, out of mere contentment and vegetation. It causes the soul to surge up, to go out of itself. When this force comes upon the most undeveloped person, he will become able to surpass himself. Even a criminal will feel temporarily, at least towards that one person, a goodness he has never known. The utterly selfish person will, while this feeling lasts, have unselfish impulses. The lazy person will get out of his inertia. The routine-bound person will naturally and without great effort get rid of his static habits, and so on and so forth.  This erotic force will lift the person out of his separateness, be it only for a short time. And this gives the soul a foretaste of unity and teaches the fearful psyche the longing for it; that is, this longing becomes more conscious after the erotic experience. The stronger one has experienced it, the less contentment the soul will find in the pseudosecurity of separateness. During the experience of eros, an otherwise thoroughly self-centered person may even be able to commit a sacrifice. 

So you see, my friends, eros enables the personality to do many things that he is disinclined to do otherwise, things that are closely linked with love. It is easy to see why eros is so often confused with love. Why then is it different from love? Because love is a permanent state in the soul. Love can only exist if, through development and purification, the basis for it is prepared. Love does not come and go at random. But eros does. Eros hits with a sudden force, finding the person often unawares and even unwilling to go through this experience. And only if the soul is prepared to love, has built the foundations for it, will eros be the bridge to that particular form of love as it manifests between the sexes.

Thus you can see how important the erotic force is. Many a human being would never be lifted out of himself, would never see beyond himself, would never be ready for a more conscious search for the breaking down of his own wall of separation unless the erotic force would not “hit” him and get him out of the rut. The erotic experience puts the seed into the soul so that it longs for unity. And unity is the great aim in the plan, for as long as the soul is separate, loneliness and unhappiness must be the result of it. 

The erotic experience enables the personality to long for union with at least one other being. In the heights of the spirit world, union happens with all beings—and thus with God. Therefore, on the earth sphere, the erotic force is a propelling power in itself, regardless of whether or not it is understood in its real meaning, and regardless of the fact that it is often misused and enjoyed while it lasts for its own sake but not utilized to cultivate love in the soul. Then, of course, it peters out. But nevertheless, the effect will inevitably remain in the soul.

Eros suddenly comes to man in certain stages of his life, even to those who are afraid of the apparent risk of the adventure out of their separateness. He who is afraid of his emotions and afraid of life as such will often do anything in his power (subconsciously and ignorantly) to avoid the great experience of unity. Although this fear exists in many, many human beings, there are few, indeed, where there is not some opening in the soul where eros cannot effect it inadvertently. With the fearful soul who resists this life experience, this is good medicine regardless of the fact that sorrow and loss may follow this experience due to other psychological factors too varied to enumerate now. 

However, there are also those who are overemotional, and although they may know other fears of life, they are not afraid of this experience. In fact, the beauty of it is a great temptation to them, and therefore they hunt greedily for it. They look for one subject after another. They are emotionally too ignorant to understand the deep meaning of eros; they are unwilling to learn pure love; they simply use the erotic force for their pleasure; and once it has worn out, they hunt elsewhere. 

This is abuse and cannot remain without effect either. This type of personality will have to make up for this abuse (ignorant as it may have been), just as the overfearful coward will have to make up for trying to cheat life by hiding from it and thus withholding from the soul a valuable medicine if used properly. As I said, with most people of this category, there is a vulnerable point somewhere in the soul through which eros can come in. But there are also a few who have built such a tight wall of fear and pride around their soul that they truly avoid this part of the life experience and so cheat their own development in a certain way. 

This fear might exist because in a former life unhappiness resulted out of this life experience, or perhaps because the soul has greedily abused the beauty of it without building it into love. In both cases, the personality may have resolved to be more careful. If this resolve is too rigid and stringent, the opposite extreme results. In the next incarnation, circumstances will be chosen in such a way that a balance will set in until the soul reaches the harmonious state where no more extreme exists. This applies to all aspects of the personality, thus also regarding this particular subject. In order to approach this harmony, at least to some extent, the proper balance between reason, emotion, and will has to be achieved in the personality.

The erotic experience will often mingle with the sexual urge, but it does not always have to be that way. These three forces—love, eros, and sex—often appear completely separately, while sometimes two mingle. Let us say eros and sex; or eros and love, as much as the soul is capable of; or sex and a semblance of love, again as far as the capacity reaches. Only in the ideal case do all three forces mingle harmoniously.

The pure sex force is utterly selfish. Where sex exists without eros and without love, it is referred to as “animalistic.” Pure sex exists in all living creatures: animals, plants, and minerals. Eros begins with the stage of development where the soul is incarnated as a human being. And pure love is to be found in the higher spiritual realms. This does not mean that the former two do not exist anymore with the higher developed being, but rather that all three blend in harmoniously and are refined, becoming less and less selfish. Nor does this mean that a human being cannot try to attempt this harmonious blend of all three forces.

In rare cases, eros without sex and love exists too, at least for a limited time. It is what is referred to as “platonic love.” But usually, sooner or later, at least with the somewhat healthy person, eros and sex mingle. The sex force, instead of being suppressed, is taken up, so to speak, by the erotic force, and both flow in one current. The more these three forces remain separate, the unhealthier the personality is.

Another possibility, particularly in relationships of long standing, is the combination of a certain kind of love (it cannot be perfect unless all three forces blend together, but let us say the nearest thing to it) and sex, but without eros. There is a certain amount of affection, companionship, fondness, mutual respect, and a sex relationship that is crudely sexual without the erotic spark that has evaporated some time ago. When eros is missing, the sex relationship must eventually suffer. 

Now this is the problem with most marriages, my friends. And there is hardly a human being who is not puzzled by this question of what to do to maintain that spark in a relationship that seems to evaporate the more habit and knowledge of one another sets in. You may not have thought of it in exactly the terms I am using, thinking of three distinct forces; yet you know and sense that something goes out of a marriage that was present at the beginning, this certain spark that is actually eros. You find yourself in a vicious circle and thus think that marriage is a hopeless proposition. No, my friends, it is not, even if you cannot as yet attain the ideal stage.

But let me now tell you about the ideal partnership love between two people. I said already that all three forces have to be represented. With love, you do not seem to have much difficulty, for in most cases one would not marry if there did not exist at least the willingness to love. I will not discuss at this point the extreme cases when a person makes an immature choice. I am discussing the case where the choice is a mature one, and yet one cannot get over the pitfall of time and habit because elusive eros has disappeared. With sex it is the same. The sex force is present in most healthy human beings and may only begin to fade, particularly with women, when eros has left. Men may then seek eros elsewhere. For the sexual relationship must eventually suffer if eros is not maintained. 

And how can you keep eros? That is the big question, my dear ones. And this question I will attempt to answer now. Eros can only be maintained if it is used as a bridge to true partnership in love in its highest sense. And how this is done, we will discuss now. Let us first see what is the main element in the erotic force. When you analyze it, you will find that it is the adventure, the search for the knowledge of the other soul. This desire lives in every created spirit. This inherent life force must bring the entity finally out of separation. Eros strengthens the curiosity to find the other being. As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, eros will live. The moment you believe you have found all there is to find and have revealed all there is to reveal, or all you are willing to reveal, eros will leave. It is as simple as that with eros. But where your great error comes in is that you believe there is a limit to the revealing of any soul, yours or another’s. When a certain point of revealing is reached, usually a quite superficial one, one is under the impression this is all there is to it, and one settles down to a placid life without further searching. This far, eros carries you with his strong impact. But after this point is reached, your further will to search the unlimited depths of the other person and voluntarily reveal and share of your own inward search within yourself determines the fact that you have used eros as a bridge to love—which is always determined by your will to learn how to love. 

And in that way, you will maintain the spark of eros contained in your love. Only in this way you will continue to find the other and let yourself be found. There is no limit, for the soul is endless and eternal; a whole lifetime would not suffice to know it. There can never be a point at any time when you know the other soul entirely, nor when you are known entirely. The soul is alive, and nothing that is alive remains static. It changes constantly. It has the possibility to reveal even deeper layers that exist already, apart from any change. The soul is in constant change and movement, as anything spiritual is by its very nature. Spirit means life and life means change. Since soul is spirit, the soul can never be known utterly. If man had the wisdom, he would realize that and make of marriage this marvelous journey of adventure it is supposed to be, forever finding new vistas instead of simply being carried as far as the first momentum of eros. You should use this potent momentum of eros as the propelling force it is to begin with, finding with it and from it the urge to go on further “on your own steam,” so to speak. Then you have brought eros into true love in marriage.

For anyone interested, the rest of lectures, including 44, can be found here.

Abe: Is your Mother's depression messing up your vibe?

Abraham, 8/17/02 West Los Angeles, CA

Guest: Hi, Abraham. I wanna ask you about responsibility. My mother, who I have a complicated relationship with, is massively unhappy. Ummm, I keep trying to do things to make her happy, to find ways to guide her to happiness.

Abe: Well, let us ask you a question because this is at the heart of everything. When you think about your mother, what is the most active, dominant vibration within you? “My mother is an unhappy woman? My mother is a happy woman?”

Guest: Unhappy.

Abe: And so you, from that vibration, can offer no guidance to anything else. Because what’s happened is, she’s won. She has presented herself in a way that you’ve observed until you’ve learned your vibration about her, from her. And now you’re reflecting it back to her. And so that’s the part of her that you get to keep rendezvousing with.

And so now, let’s play the game of asking the other questions. When I think about my mother, I see her as more unhappy or more happy?

Guest: More unhappy.

Abe: It’s my job to change the vibration of my mother? It’s not my job to change the vibration of my mother?

Guest: See, that’s where I get, it gets sticky for me.

Abe: It’s my job to change the vibration of my mother? It’s not my job to change the vibration of my mother? Just answer it.

We’re not saying one is right and one is wrong. We just want you to say which. It’s my job to change the vibration of my mother. It’s not my job to change the vibration of my mother.

Guest: I think it’s not my job. But I think the right answer is, that it is my job.

Abe: My mother’s vibration is unchangeable? My mother’s vibration is changeable?

Guest: It’s changeable.

Abe: That was a trap. (Laughter)

Guest: And I fell in it?

Abe: You did, because

Guest: Because I can’t change it?

Abe: Because - well. Because you don’t believe that her vibration is changeable. But you do believe it’s your job to change it.

(Audience - “Oh”) So you’re in this

Guest: You’re good, you know. (Laughter)

Abe: So you’re in this impossible place

Guest: Yea.

Abe: ...you see. And so, which of those do you think would be the easiest outlet for you? In other words, you’re in a jam, you can’t get out. Where is the path of least resistance? It’s not my job to change my mother’s vibration? Or, my mother’s vibration is changeable? [You] can take any way out. Which is the easiest one?

Guest: (Pause)

Abe: Not my job.

Guest: Not my job.

Abe: It’s not my job to change my mother’s vibration. Now let’s go back to more general statements. My life is mostly really good?

Guest: My life is mostly

Abe: Ooooooo, it is

Guest: really good,

Abe: isn’t it?

Guest: really good.

Abe: There are so many things that I can think about that bring me to a good feeling place. And on the occasional moment that I focus upon her, I can take it. Now let’s, let’s start here.

Guest: Yes.

Abe: My mother and her sadness are such a big part of my life, that it’s sucking the life out of me. Or my mother and her problems are not a big part of my life. And I can deal with it when I need to.

Guest: Yea.

Abe: SO STOP BEATING UP ON YOURSELF THAT THERE’S A PIECE OF LIFE EXPERIENCE THAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL - AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE. And say, “Hmmm, maybe I should practice a little unconditional love.” And we’re not talking about unconditional love for your mother. We’re talking about letting yourself off the hook.

Guest: Okay.

Abe: We’re talking about wanting so much to feel good, that you say, “It has to be alright for my mother to be like that. I have to allow my mother to have the experiences that she is having. AND I HAVE TO FIND MY HAPPINESS ANYWHERE I CAN GET IT. And maybe I’ll find some with thoughts about her and maybe I won’t. But for right now, I’m not gonna think about that. I’m not gonna think about that.

Abraham on Deflecting Catty Judgments

Abraham, Boulder, CO 06-11-05

Questioner has fear of being judged.

A: Well, that’s a valid fear, because they will judge you.

Q. Right.

A. And so if that bothers you then..because people are going to observe you and they can only see you through their framework and so many people would feel better if you would comply to what they think they need you to do so that they will feel better... but you sort of got to get over that...(laughter)

Q: And how do I get over it? (laughter) ...

Q. I know when you do have a thought that you don’t feel good about...

A. Such as...

Q. Such as walking into a store in a new city and you’re afraid that people are looking at you and judging you and then I go in and I say, "Well, no, God’s within you, you are God, there is nothing wrong with you." Is that just putting a bandaid on it?

A. Well, the reason it feels to you like you are putting a bandaid on it is that’s not solving the situation for you and here’s why:

So let’s say that for whatever reason you have been fostered in an environment where you were trained to care deeply about what other people thought and you’re not alone in that because most people need to control your behavior so that they can feel good, it happened in your home, it happens in the school system, it happens in the traffic. IOW there are so many things around you where they expect your behavioral compliance or they won’t feel so good and they’ll punish you because they want to feel good. IOW that’s sort of the way your physical world has come round to...

So lets say that for whatever reason in whatever way it happened to you, you are very sensitive to the opinions of others and you walk into an environment like you said and you feel them looking at you and disapproving and you think I don’t like this feeling. I should jump into the bright-eyed bushy-tailed fluffy...

I should love them. (laughter)

But you’re very far from that vibration and so when someone is looking at you, looking you over and you can see disapproval in their face, what is the first knee jerk reaction that comes from you, most of you, maybe not you? Don’t you wanna say... "Who are you?" Don’t you wanna say..."You wear those shoes and you’ve got the nerve to look at me?" Don’t you wanna say..."Who combed your hair today?" Doesn’t just a little feeling of revenge sort of bubble up like a life-giving breath of fresh air?

Now you and a lot of other people may not let yourself go there because you’ve been trained to believe that you should have love in your heart and you should not condemn them just because they are condemning you, but we wanna say to you that you can’t jump from being condemned and taking it hard all the way into love and sunshine and joy. You can’t do it; the frequencies are too far apart and we think that the knee-jerk response of revenge or anger is an approved vibration for you and what we feel from you and from so many who are sensitive and who want to be uplifters is that many of you have disallowed yourself the stepping stones along the way_on_the_way_ to your love and appreciation of everyone.

It’s sort of like... Jerry and Esther wanting to go from Phoenix to San Diego and finding themselves in Yuma and being so discouraged that they are not yet in san diego that they get disoriented and turn around and go back to phoenix.

So they go...(quickly)

phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma

and in time they say (dramatically and with angst), "We’ll neeeeever get to San Diegoooo. We must not be woooorthy of san diego. We must have done something in a past life that prevents us from getting to gooooo to san diego. There must be something in YUMA that is a higher puuuuurpose fooor us. God must want us to be in yuma. We must have done something really bad in a past life and karma tells us that _yuma_is_ our_ place_. (Huge audience laughter).

And we say, you come up with a lot of really funny things to explain why you don’t just line up with what you want, you see. So our message to you is you don’t line up all at once; you line up gradually.

Abraham, Boulder Workshop, CO 06-11-05

Abe: Forgiveness Redefined

Abraham, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 09/2002

We have to say to you that forgiveness doesn’t fit in very well with the art of allowing, because you’ve got to dig up what you’re forgiving. The strange thing about forgiveness - it doesn’t have to be this way, but it often is - is that, when you hear people talking about forgiveness they’re usually talking about what they’re forgiving. ‘Oh yeah, it’s a terrible thing she did to me. [with mock anger...] But I forgive her.’ [laughter] And what happens is anything that you give your attention to activates in your vibration. So if something has hurt you, and you are working to forgive it, you are activating.

Forgiveness is almost exactly the same, in fact would we say it is exactly the same, as saying ‘I’m going to deactivate this thing that hurt me’. And we would say the reason that it doesn’t go very far and the reason that people struggle so hard with the idea of forgiveness is because they keep digging up the stuff they don’t want and keeping it active in their vibration so that they have a stream of people they have to forgive. They forgave their mother for what she did and kept it alive and then they had to forgive this lover and this lover and this lover and this lover. And every day it’s an eternal quest to forgive. And we say why not just let it go and activate something that doesn’t need forgiving.

Any person is like a microcosm of the Universe. They have within them things that you adore and things that you would rather not see.  And if you are forgiving some of the stuff you don’t want to see you are keeping it active so it becomes a bigger part of the personality that that person is giving to you. But if you ignore that by activating the things that you appreciate, oh that’s a whole other thing.

So we would give forgiveness a new definition. We would say the ultimate way of forgiving is really forgetting. And the ultimate way of forgetting really is by remembering something you want to remember.