Co-Dependent vs Independent Relationships

Abraham-Hicks, Kansas City, MO 9/15/04-B

It is possible for you to be selfishly oriented and care about someone else at the same time, but you can't let what they want matter more to you than what you want, or you are going to get out of balance. Then that's where you start sacrificing, which lays the groundwork for resentment.

Then you find yourself in an adult relationship, like so many adults who have parents and parents who have adult children, and none of them even like each other because their relationship is based on sacrifice and resentment instead of upon balance and alignment and self-sufficiency.

[snip]

Someone who really wants to help really enjoys a needy friend, sort of a nice balance. "I like to help and you like to be helped, so we get along really good together."

But most of you have to acknowledge that the people who make your heart sing the most are those independent, self sufficient beings who aren't dependent upon you for their joy.

When someone says to you, "You need to do something so I can feel better", if there is only one of them, you might take them in as a friend. But if you get a handful of them, then you've got a burdensome crowd hanging around you.

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Abe: Missing Someone Isn't Sweet. It's Sick.

Abraham - Boulder, Co, 6-09-07 

Your grandchild is not missing YOU. Your grandchild is missing the way he feels when he's with you. So many of you think it's sweet that they miss you. Well, it's not sweet. It's sick. You think that it's darling that they want to be with you. Well, it's not darling. It's dependent. 

You want to train them into alignment, not dependence on YOU...We want you to miss no one. And when you do have that feeling of loneliness, it's absence of your own inner being, that is what you're lonely for.

The only thing you ever miss is your alignment. And when you've got that down, then you'll always be tuned in, tapped in, turned on. And when you're tuned in, tapped in, turned on, then you're always having a wonderful moment, no matter where the moment is, or who the moment is with. Or without.