The Greatest Gift You Can Give To Your Lover

Abraham, San Diego 2/7/04B

Abraham: It is nice to have a human friend who holds you as their object of attention and adores you right into your connection, but we want you to experience greater independence than that. We want you to say to your lovers, "I love you, but I don't live for you. Because Source Energy flows through me. You are a catalyst to my well-being, but you are not essential to my well-being, because I've got that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief and I have relieved myself all the way into my full connection of who I really am. And now we can just dance and play together."

Can you feel how you take them off the hook?

In other words, do you know how many lovers would flock to you? ALL OF THEM! if they knew that you would allow them to be as they are and you would not hold them responsible for your happiness.

That's what everyone wants.

How much bondage is there in believing that your happiness depends on me, so I've got to figure out what you want, and stand on my head in all those different ways, and it's not even possible!

The greatest gift you can give anyone is to be happy.

And we will take that further. The greatest gift you can give to any partner, past, present or future is to be so connected with who you truly are that they are irrelevant to your connection.

And when they are irrelevant to your connection, then you are going to have a really good time together.


© Abraham Hicks Publications

Abraham: Of Frenemies, Relationships, and Co-Creation

Abraham - Sacramento CA 7/27/02

Abraham: You don't feel anyway about anyone without them helping you to feel that way. It's really cocreation. We'll even go further and louder and blunter: If there is someone you don't like, they don't like you either. We have never seen it otherwise. We have never seen someone to adore someone that the one they were adoring didn't adore them back.

Now someone is thinking, "Now wait a minute, there was that man I loved with all my heart and he didn't love me back." We say you were offering him insecurity, you were offering him worry, it wasn't that pure vibration of love. When you are tuned in, tapped in, turned on, they can't offer you anything else. The Law of Attraction wouldn't put you together even when you live in the same house. You would rendevoux differently.


© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Esther's Recurring Lackful Relationship Dream

Abraham-Hicks, excerpt from G-10/16/93

Esther kept having a recurring dream. For many years after she and her mate were together, she dreamed that she could not find him. She thought she knew where he was but she couldn't find him. She knew the number where he could be reached but when she would dial it, it wouldn't ring. Her fingers would punch right through the phone , the telephone would turn into cheese or something. Or it would ring it would ring and he couldn't hear.

It was just a variety of things keeping them from connecting. And when Esther started to interact with Abraham she said "Abraham is this dream about all that time before I found him? All these years I was looking for him and had not found him?"

And we said No, your dream is current, your dream is about your NOW!! And Esther said "What do you mean?" and we said in your wanting of this delicious relationship - again we keep wanting to come back to every subject being two subjects- in your awareness of what you are wanting, you spend more time thinking about the absence of it.

And when Esther thought about it she realized that was accurate. She worried that he would get run over. She worried that he would stop loving her. She worried that he would find someone he loved more. In other words, even though it was her very passionate, strong, ever present desire that this relationship would last forever, more than 50 percent of her thoughts were upon what would happen if it didn't.

Because she didn't know about flowing energy. In other words, she was still believing that its about fate or chance or luck or circumstances. So she was feeling lucky that she had him, but not sure that she could hold onto him!! You see what we are talking about?

And so when we said to Esther you have been projecting so much lackful thought relative to this relationship Your dream ... your inner being is showing you a probable future where you won't know where he is! A probable future where your negative lackful vibration is going to create something you do NOT want.

So with this story we think you are hearing what we are saying. What you are wanting to do is as we said earlier several times today. You are wanting to think about this relationship that you want and feel good about it at the same time. So that instead of it evoking from you a yearning lonely feeling, you are wanting the thought of it to evoke a feeling of ecstasy , a feeling of empowerment . And when you are able to shift the way you feel about it, it is our promise to you, you will then allow into your experience that which you are wanting.

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

In Love = In the Vortex

Abraham- Los Angeles, CA 09/06/09 (Hat tip to David on Yahoo Groups.)

Guest: My wife says I'm "different".... We're each other's best friend, we do love each other, but she's just not 'in love' with me anymore. Something has shifted and I don't know what.

Abraham: That "in love" thing is not what people think it is. First of all, no one is ever 'in love', unless they're in the Vortex. Never. Because in the Vortex is connected with Source.

So what happens is, you're young, you're more carefree, or you're distracted from stuff that's bothering you, by each other, so you inspire each other into the Vortex. "Ahh! Aha!" You're in the Vortex and you're looking at each other, and there's all that physical good stuff. And there you are in the Vortex, in the Vortex, in the Vortex, "In Love, In Love, In Love."

And then, you step into life, and you're out of the Vortex and you say, "You don't love me anymore, I don't feel the same way." And we say, it has nothing to do with THEM, it has to do with whether you're in the Vortex or out of the Vortex, in the Vortex or out of the Vortex.

That feeling of 'in love' is that feeling of 'in alignment' as you hold someone as the positive object of attention, you see.

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Evolution, in a Long-Term Committed Relationship?

Abraham, The Law of Attraction in Action DVD Series, Episode VII, Disk 1

But we would like you to understand that moving from relationship to relationship to relationship is not the answer and that in fact the true relationship you seek is the relationship with Source. If you will tend to that relationship, if you will care about how you feel, if you will care about seeing this relationship through the eyes of Source, every relationship could be the long-term committed relationship you are talking to and the expansive, growth relationship you're talking about.

It's easy if you don't like something to just throw it away and start over, but you take yourself with you. And whatever went wrong in your last relationship, we promise you will go wrong in this relationship unless you've done something about changing the vibration. And by changing the vibration, we don't mean just go to another person! We mean do something about changing the vibration, and when you change the vibration you'll evoke from this relationship something different just as you would evoke from a new relationship. So whether you stay or go is not the issue. The issue is - am I tending to the relationship between ME and me first? And once I do that, I will find joy wherever I stand.

You can get so good at your alignment that you could have a wonderful relationship with ANYBODY. With anybody! But you have of course, through your physical experience, given birth to all kinds of preferences and those preferences should be met. You should be able to live with the kind of person that you want to! They should look the way you want them to look, they should behave the way you want them to behave. We don't want you to say: "You can behave in any way you want to behave and I'll just joyously bip along and be your doormat and do whatever it is that you want me to do!" That's not what we're saying at all!

The Art of Allowing doesn't mean let the other get away with things that bother you. The Art of Allowing means tuning myself to the point that I'm not bothered and then they CAN'T do things that bother you! Nobody can consistently give you something you do not want unless it is active in your vibration. And if it is active in your vibration you want to blame the other one because it wasn't active in your vibration before you observed their behaviour. But we want you to take control of your own experience by saying "I'm in charge of the way I feel because I'm in charge of where I give my attention." I can see through the eyes of Source or not. It's that simple.

(c) Abraham-Hicks Publications

Monogamy: Is It Natural or Unnatural?

Excerpt from Abraham's latest book "The Vortex"- pp. 136-7

Questioner: Where I'm stuck is on the whole issue of monogamy. That is the way I was raised, and so I assume that that's a value of mine, but I've noticed a lot of pain and fear associated with it. First of all, you have to find someone who wants the same thing, and then you have to control that person's wanting, which is not fun by itself, and . . .

Abraham: Not only is it not fun to attempt to control over another, it is not possible. People often believe that what they really want is just some final ruling on the rightness or wrongness of monogamy so that they could then keep the rule or break the rule, but at least they would know what the rule is. And so, in your societies that rule had moved back and forth many times. It varies today depending upon what part of the world you are living in. But we want you to understand that it was never your intention as you came into the physical from Non-Physical to find one way of living and convince or coerce all others to abide. You understood that the world is big enough to accommodate vast difference in desires, beliefs, and the creation of lifestyles.

Which brings us to the first point of this question: I need to find someone who wants what I want. Coming together with another who is in agreement with the desires that you hold does make for good relationships. And, surely it is obvious that there are enough people with whom you share your planet that it should to be too difficult to find someone who is a match to you and what you want. But the thing that hinders most people - as they are looking to find that other person who matches the things they desire - is that they cannot find that person unless they themselves are a match to their own desires.

People who worry about finding someone who will remain true to them cannot find such a person because the most active thoughts within them are worrisome thoughts of betrayal. People are finding it difficult to find the mate of their dreams not because that person is not out there, but because of their own contradiction to their own desire in the thoughts they offer about the subject every day.

When you consistently offer thoughts about your future relationship that feel good while you think them, that means you are consistently matching the desires that you have discovered as your have lived life. And under those conditions, only someone in agreement with your desires could come to you. Under those conditions, no need for control is necessary.

Questioner: So is it out "natural" nature to have only one relationship over a lifetime? Or is that something that was imposed on use by culture or religion?

Abraham: It was your intent ot interact with many others on many subjects. And whether you choose the subject of sexuality ot be something that you experience with only one, or whether it is something taht you want to experience with more than one, or with many, it is an individual thing. And your ideas about it are continually changing.

(c) Abraham-Hicks Publications