Abraham on (Sexual) Choices, Morality, and Greater Perspective

Abraham-Hicks,  02-07-98

Abraham: Is one desire better than another?
No.

Who gets to choose?
You do.

Can you make one choice now and another choice later?
Absolutely.

Is it likely that your choices will continue to change and evolve?
Yes.

Is there somebody watching you and keeping score of what you choose? 
No.

Will there be punishment if you accidentally make the wrong choice? 
No.

In other words, the punishment -- there is not anything offered like that -- but the suffering that you see as punishment is nothing greater than the negative emotion that you feel in any moment as you're disallowing your true self to flow through you. That's as bad as it gets. That guilt or anger or blame or frustration or depression that you feel because you're choosing thoughts that aren't in vibrational harmony with who you are? That's as bad as it gets.

So is there a great law that says monogamy is more spiritual than having many sexual partners? 
No. There is no such law.

Are there people who would be more joyful in monogamy? 
Absolutely.

Are there people who would be more joyful eating frog legs? 
Absolutely.

Who gets to choose? 
You do.

How do you know if you're making the right choice? 
You can feel it.

Will your choices evolve? 
Absolutely.

Can you make wrong choices? 
No.

Will other people agree? 
Never.

Are you going to be able to stand on your head in enough different ways to please them? 
No.

Any one of them? 
No.

Is that your job? 
No.

Then what is your job? 
To feel good.

What does that mean? 
Seek harmony with Who You Are.

Does that mean that the God Within Me wants me to have lots of sexual partners? 
No.

That means that the god within you wants you to find harmony between your desire and your belief. In other words, that energy wants you to create a clear path for it to flow. And you can't do that by saying, "That's wrong," because every time you see something is wrong you stop the flow.

Does that mean you have to embrace all things? 
No. 


It just means you must stop pushing against those things that you don't want to include because every time you push against them, you don't stop them, you include them, and now you're out of sync again and you say "it's your fault, you evil perpetrators of sin and violence and crime. If you would stop being so bad, I'd feel better." And we say that's true, but that's never going to happen. You must allow them to be that which they are while you selectively sift that which lines up your energy. And when you're in alignment with your source, all things are possible.


© Abraham Hicks Publications

Seth on Assassination and Murder

Seth: The Personal Sessions,  aka The Deleted Sessions  9/20/78

Rob: Do you want to say something about my dream, in which I get shot? 

Seth: It was, as I believe Ruburt has mentioned, a result of deep contemplation on your part about the bookstore murder, but in a larger context, involving probabilities, murderers, victims, and the beliefs involved.

The men were all united--that is, they agreed to the circumstances. No one was trying to run away, and in a way the murderer was performing a service. Any violence or hatred serves a purpose beyond itself so that man in a way often performs services of which he is not consciously aware.

I am not saying that man is being manipulated, but that in a larger framework, even his seemingly evil acts have constructive meaning. A man who kills with hatred will have his hatred to contend with, but he is not able to kill anyone who has not decided to die--and to die in a particular manner; that is, someone who wants his death blamed on another, who would not commit suicide, who would not choose a long illness--someone who is ready to die but does not want to deal with the circumstances, and wants indeed to be surprised by death.

Now: in those terms, and in the terms of this discussion, specifically, all assassins are paid assassins hired by the victims. Again, in the terms of this discussion, many murderers are overwhelmed by a sense of guilt, and the murderous act pinpoints the reason for the guilt--so the victim pays the murderer by giving a clear-cut, unassailable reason for a monstrous guilt that was before formless, and even more frightening, since it seemed to have no particular base, but an overwhelming vitality.

Now all of those issues, in one way or another appeared in your dream, where ...you became the victim. You then discovered that you were still 'alive'..."

© Laurel Butts

Whose fault, the infidelity Part 2

Abraham, Boulder, CO  6/5/2005

Continued from Part 1.

Guest (rambling a bit): It's just baffling. I'm trying to get clarity here in that you say, on the one hand, how someone treats you is about you so much more than it is about them. So, maybe he wasn't violent with anyone else, that was my fault. (Snort). And yet, our wedding vows are to be "we'll see how it goes, good feels good, bad feels bad, un, we'll just see how it goes." But then if we focus on one thing out of 6000 that is good, 6000 things that aren't good, then all the other thing will drop away.

Abe: So are you telling us that you met someone who had one good quality in 6000 bad qualities and you developed a relationship with this person?

Guest: Okay, I'm being dramatic.  I tried to focus on the good. But that went away when we got him sober, quite frankly, this chemistry, and earth shattering sex, and yadda yadda yadda. There was more than that. It was an adventure. It was thrilling. It was all these things, and... (exasperated sigh).

Abe: So why are you heartbroken?

Guest: Because I've feel I've let myself down.

Abe: But why are you heartbroken? When you use the word "heartbroken" it's particularly pointed, what's it pointed at?

Guest: Because I want this love that I dream. And I couldn't give it to him, unconditionally; I couldn't love him through it.

Abe: But hear what you're saying. What you're saying is over time I've created what I consider to be the perfect relationship and it's out here being held for me in vibrational escrow. And I so wanted this person to be that, and he wasn't. So we want to say to you in very logical terms, so he's only one in a few million who aren't it, but that doesn't mean that it cannot still come to be.  So why the self-torture about him not matching your dream?

Guest: Because we create it all and I was very arrogant before I met him. I thought I'm with Abraham. I understand this that and the other. I've got it going on. And yet, I called this in? Hello? Sigh. Where do I go from here?

Abe: Well, It's just part of that post-manifestational awareness that we were talking about. IOW, sometimes you have to have an experience to clarify. Do you think that through the experience that what's being held for you in Vibrational Escrow is even shaper and clearer than it was before? Did you do any amending during this experience? So don't you think that now your future reality has even more potential to please you than it did before because of this experience?

IOW, this is what we were talking about earlier, and you are the quintessential example of the reason that we say it. We want so much for you to make peace with where you are. And instead of making peace with where you are, you are beating up on who you are. You're saying, "I did something wrong. I should have known better."

And we say how do you figure anything out if it is not through the exposure to the experience? And so all that happened in this episode of your life is that you you wanted your dream relationship so much that you made a decision based on action without really taking the emotional journey in a full way. And there's no problem with doing that because all that happened as it unfolded was that it showed to you  that this wasn't a perfect match.

That would be like Jerry and Esther from Phoenix on their way to San Diego and taking a wrong turn and heading off into the desert, and then being so mad at themselves that they headed off into the desert that they don't feel worthy of correcting their course and ever getting back to San Diego - just spinning around out in the desert endlessly and saying, "We're so bad. We should have known better. How did we do this stupid thing?"

And we would say instead of beating up on yourself and running around in circles 'til you run out of gas or water, why not get hold of the map? Why not figure out what it is that you want? Why not get headed back in the direction of what you want?

And that's where making peace with yourself comes in. What you want to begin saying is, "Hey, I did the best that I knew how to do then. And I was so eager. He did sort of trick me. He did pretend to be the person that I really wanted him to be. And I let my head lead me, rather than my gut lead me. I let what I wanted be stronger than what I knew.  I felt reservations. I felt plenty of reservations, but I so wanted this to be the one that I disregarded my reservations, and I went along with it only to discover that when you disregard reservations, and there's really a reason for the reservation, the reason for the reservations gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger."

Because when there is vibrational variance between who I am and what I say I want and what and what I am allowing myself to have or be or do in this moment, my guidance system is always telling me that, so we can understand how you might be saying to us, I am a little upset that I didn't follow my guidance better. And we say how do you think anyone figures how to follow their guidance? You watch a baby walk and fall down you don't say "get up you little dummy." (laughter). You appreciate the effort and you know that he'll gain his balance. In time, he'll be running and having a good time.

And so when you don't go exactly the way you want to go, you gotta stop saying, "You stupid, little dummy." You gotta start saying, "Hey, that was interesting. Hmmm. Now I understand more clearly what those feelings were about and once it manifested,  I can see the vibrational matches and I just wanted so much to be a deliberate creator and I want so much to get it right and I wanted I wanted so much to get this one thing right that I've wanted for so long."

And we say, you never get it done, and you cannot get it wrong. So you had some experiences that were uncomfortable. We understand that and we do not wish uncomfortable experiences on you. But what we do know is that you've gotta give yourself a break and say, "Hey, I attracted that to me because it was active in my vibration in some way  and now I got the full dose of what was active in my vibration. I think I'm going to do a little cleaning up of my vibration before I let the next one in, you see.


© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Abraham: Whose fault, Infidelity? Part 1

Abraham, Boulder, CO  6/5/2005

Guest: Last we spoke on the Mexican Cruise, you said, you know, if I continue knee-jerk responding then I'd continue to have the same outcome.


So I return from the cruise with my fiancé, turn on the printer one afternoon, and it was already in queue, and this really adorable young lady's profile from Match.com popped out, and I moved out. And I kneejerk reacted, yes. And this is what's really hard for me. Because I still can't wrap my brain, my feelings around that the way ppl treat you is more about you, than it is about them; so my girlfriends, who are psychologists, are really angry with you because they think that you are keeping women, or anybody, but it's like a Battered Woman's Syndrome: well, your created it, you created it, you created it.  It's your fault. And that's why the tears now.

Abraham: They are right to be mad at us because we will not tell you something different than we know. IOW, on the one hand you could say that by us saying to you that you are the creator of your own reality could be blame-pointing, or you could say it is empowering. When you're not getting something that you want, and you feel mad at yourself because you're not getting something you want, we can see how uncomfortable that would be,  but how much more uncomfortable is it to believe that it is someone else's creation, and you can't control what they do?

What was it that you were so angry with him about?

Guest: Well, you know, I did want him to be different. There was drug addiction; there was volatility and abuse, and the gambling, and all this stuff. In the beginning...

Abraham: So was this person a match to the perfect relationship that through time that you have launched into your vibrational escrow?

Guest: I focused on the good in the beginning. And then I...

Abraham: And what happened when you were focused upon the good?

Guest: It felt great.

Abe: And beyond how it felt what happened to the relationship?

Guest: Well...

Abraham: IOW, here's where we're getting at. Sometimes people will say to us, "Abraham, I want a partner, and I want a partner now."  And we say, is that...Stay with us, we're really going to get to where you want to go. We can feel you tuning away, because you think we're dragging you away from where you want to go... But we are just preparing the basis to drag you to where you don't want to go. (audience laughter.)

Some people will say, "But Abraham, I want my partner and I want my partner now." And we say well,  if the now factor is the most important thing to you, and you really emphasize that in your vibration, the Universe is going to match you up quickly, but it will match you up quickly with what's active in your vibration right now. So if you've had past hurts, or past things that you don't like that are still active in your vibration, and you insist that the relationship come now now now now now, when it gets there while you might be thrilled that it came now, as you begin to sort through it, it may not be exactly what you are looking for.

So then we say, as you approach or evaluate some partner, they are multi-faceted, many components. You could become so pure in your vibration of expecting to get from this person what you've been telling the Universe all along that you want,  that if the universe has delivered this person to you, and if your vibration is really in alignment with what you want, this person must be a vibrational match to what you want.

Now people say, "Well, where does free will come in? What if that person doesn't want to be like that?" We say then the Universe would not have brought you together. But what happens is, most of you have got your vibration going all over the place, so it's sort of like a  grab bag of potential experiences that you can have with most people. And so there are things that you love about relationships, and things you hate about relationships,  but we would not have moved out for this reason: we want to say to you in this powerful, powerful way, that if there was so much there that you were feeling satisfied with, and if you could have trained your own vibration into alignment with the parts of that relationship that you like the most,  you could have this wonderful relationship with those parts of this person, but where it gets screwy is...

It's sort of like coming to Boulder and having a wonderful meal at this restaurant next door, and having a good time at a seminar, or wherever, and then being angry with the City of Boulder that every aspect of it could not meet your expectations. And we say, well, the City of Boulder is a diverse place, and so why not just find the parts of it that you do resonate with and live in those parts? But relative to a city you never say, "No, the rest of the city of needs to clean up its act, so that it all pleases me."

We know where you are going with this and we know where your psychologist friends are going with it, and we know where most of the female population, and a small part of the male population on the planet, is going with this, and that is "I should own this person. He should not have thoughts that are other than me. He should not have interests that are outside of me. He should make a commitment only to me."

It is illogical to expect any other human to come wholly to you, and if you could just be thrilled with the parts that are coming to you, larger and larger parts would come to you, but it's defying the Laws of the Universe to want to completely own anyone.

Guest: I so don't feel that I wanted to own him. And..

Abe: Then why did it upset you when a piece of paper came out of a printer that showed...

Guest: It was a culmination of, as I mentioned drug addiction, and abuse, and gambling.  I wanted to look anywhere else...(sic)

Abe: So where are you at here with this?

Guest: I'm heartbroken. I know that I failed myself. I failed him.

Abe: Heartbroken because... I fell in love with parts of a person who had other parts I couldn't fall in love with. You hear that? He needed to be different for me to fall in love with all of the parts of him. Well, how disempowering is that?

Continued with Part 2.


© Abraham Hicks Publications

Seth Classic: Practicing Idealist

Seth, The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, Session 873, p. 301,  08/15/79

Seth: In a manner of speaking, you must be a practicing idealist if you are to remain a true idealist for long. You must take small practical steps, often when you would prefer to take giant ones — but you must move in the direction of your ideals through action. Otherwise you will feel disillusioned, or powerless, or sure, again, that only drastic, highly unideal methods will ever bring about the achievement of a given ideal state or situation.

Life at all levels of activity is propelled to seek ideals, whether of a biological or mental nature. That pursuit automatically gives life its zest and natural sense of excitement and drama. Developing your own abilities, whatever they may be, exploring and expanding your experience of selfhood, gives life a sense of purpose, meaning, and creative excitement — and also adds to the understanding and development of the society and the species.

It is not enough to meditate, or to imagine in your mind some desired goal being accomplished, if you are afraid to act upon the very impulses to which your meditations and imaginings give rise. When you do not take any steps toward an ideal position, then your life does lack excitement. You become depressed. You might become an idealist in reverse, so that you find a certain excitement in contemplating the occurrence of natural disasters, such as earthquakes.

You may begin to concentrate your attention on such activities. You may contemplate the end of the world instead, but in either case you are propelled by a sense of personal frustration, and perhaps by some degree of vengeance, seeing in your mind the destruction of a world that fell so far beneath your idealized expectations.

None of the unfortunate situations discussed in this book have any power over you, however, if you understand that events do not exist by themselves. All events and situations exist first within the mind. At the deepest levels of communication no news is secret, whether or not you receive it by way of your technological gadgets.

Your thoughts and beliefs and desires form the events that you view on television. If you want to change your world, you must first change your thoughts, expectations, and beliefs. If every reader of this book changed his or her attitudes, even though not one law was rewritten, tomorrow the world would have changed for the better. The new laws would follow.

Any new law always follows the change in belief. It is not the other way around.

There is no civilization, no system of science, art, or philosophy, that did not originate in the mind. When you give lip service to ideas with which you do not agree, you are betraying your own ideals, harming yourself to some extent, and society as well, insofar as you are denying yourself and society the benefit of your own understanding. Each person is an idealist. I simply want to help you practice your idealism in the acts of your daily life.

Each person alive helps paint the living picture of civilization as it exists at any given time, in your terms. Be your own best artist. Your thoughts, feelings and expectations are like the living brush strokes with which you paint your corner of life's landscape. If you do your best in your own life, then you are indeed helping to improve the quality of all life. Your thoughts are as real as snowflakes or raindrops or clouds. They mix and merge with the thoughts of others, to form man's livingscape, providing the vast mental elements from which physical events will be formed.


© Laurel Butts

The Visualization Process Is Your Purpose in Life

Abraham-Hicks Quarterly Journal Jul/Aug/Sep 1996

Abraham: What your purpose in life is, is the visualization process. To look around and see it like it is and then imagine it better. Look around and see it like it is and then imagine it better. The visualization process is your purpose of life. The Universe will match it with the physical equivalent.

The tricky thing is to not keep getting swept up in the physical equivalent so much that you lose sight of your ability to visualize. Can you hear it? The temptation is to then start observing. The temptation is to just start observing, to let what's happening around you to dominate your every thought. Your work is to keep pulling yourself back.

You go to the gym to work your muscles. We want you to go the Creation Box to work your mind. We want you to work at visualization. It's not going to come easy in the beginning. It's going to be hard. Other things are going to call you off. You're going to find your mind wandering all over the place. You are going to have to work at maintaining a focus. To maintain a focus and feel good can take a strong deliberate intent because it's easier to follow those knee-jerk reactions. Those old habits are very well entrenched.

Your purpose in the physical experience is to use the data that abounds to collect the bits and pieces of it to create a scenario that rocks your world--and when you do that, the Universe will respond with a vibrational equivalent. But we want so much for you to hear that the vibrational equivalent--the physical manifestation--is not what it's about. It's the power of the vision.


© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Head in the Clouds/Pollyanna vs Dynamic Living

Abraham, Mexican Cruise, 01/23/10:

Guest: I find myself, okay, majority of the time in a really happy place. I don't really look at reality, I just try to be in a place where I feel really good. And so I'm looking for a feeling...

Abraham: Now, we want to just ask you a question, all of you:

So did we make it sound to you like we want you to ignore reality, and just find the feeling place, and then just feel your way around, or did you understand us to say ignore reality because it's easier then to feel your way into the Vortex, then you tune into the whole of Who You Are, and then you give your undivided attention to Life?

That's quite a different subject, isn't it? And some of you aren't quite making the jump. You've got the ignoring the reality part down, and you've got the feeling for something..that's why they call you Pollyanna, but you're sort of, you've got your head in the clouds because you're not really focusing. In other words, we want you to do it all.

We want you to ignore reality long enough to get into the Vortex, knowing that once you are in the Vortex that your undivided attention will cause you then to devour Life.

In other words, when you are conversing with someone who is tuned in and passionate about something, they're not ever accused of being Pollyanna. They're talking about future worlds; they're talking about dynamic things; they're talking about new technology; they're talking about new inventions; they're talking philosophy; they're talking about the best of life; they're talking about how Life is good to them in this way and this way and this way and this way.




We're not suggesting that you go to the Vortex and you sit over dinner and then someone says, "Hi how are you?"

And you say, "Flow and Ease."

And they say, "Did you move into your new house?"

And you say, "Appreciation. Clarity. Blissful."

That's not what we're encouraging. We want you to use the tools to tune in, so that you can give them the real response when someone says, "How are you doing?" and you say, "I have never been better. It's as if everything that I've ever lived is all queued up for this moment." You'll give them a hair blowing back experience, but they won't call you Pollyanna.

Guest: Maybe that was the wrong choice.

Abraham: "I never felt better in my life. Everything is going my way. Abundance is flowing. Ideas are flowing. Books are flowing through me. People are coming everywhere. Anything I want I can be or do or have."

"How are you?"

"Check," they'll say, "Check," but they won't call you 'Pollyanna'.


© Abraham-Hicks Publications