Abraham on Deflecting Catty Judgments

Abraham, Boulder, CO 06-11-05

Questioner has fear of being judged.

A: Well, that’s a valid fear, because they will judge you.

Q. Right.

A. And so if that bothers you then..because people are going to observe you and they can only see you through their framework and so many people would feel better if you would comply to what they think they need you to do so that they will feel better... but you sort of got to get over that...(laughter)

Q: And how do I get over it? (laughter) ...

Q. I know when you do have a thought that you don’t feel good about...

A. Such as...

Q. Such as walking into a store in a new city and you’re afraid that people are looking at you and judging you and then I go in and I say, "Well, no, God’s within you, you are God, there is nothing wrong with you." Is that just putting a bandaid on it?

A. Well, the reason it feels to you like you are putting a bandaid on it is that’s not solving the situation for you and here’s why:

So let’s say that for whatever reason you have been fostered in an environment where you were trained to care deeply about what other people thought and you’re not alone in that because most people need to control your behavior so that they can feel good, it happened in your home, it happens in the school system, it happens in the traffic. IOW there are so many things around you where they expect your behavioral compliance or they won’t feel so good and they’ll punish you because they want to feel good. IOW that’s sort of the way your physical world has come round to...

So lets say that for whatever reason in whatever way it happened to you, you are very sensitive to the opinions of others and you walk into an environment like you said and you feel them looking at you and disapproving and you think I don’t like this feeling. I should jump into the bright-eyed bushy-tailed fluffy...

I should love them. (laughter)

But you’re very far from that vibration and so when someone is looking at you, looking you over and you can see disapproval in their face, what is the first knee jerk reaction that comes from you, most of you, maybe not you? Don’t you wanna say... "Who are you?" Don’t you wanna say..."You wear those shoes and you’ve got the nerve to look at me?" Don’t you wanna say..."Who combed your hair today?" Doesn’t just a little feeling of revenge sort of bubble up like a life-giving breath of fresh air?

Now you and a lot of other people may not let yourself go there because you’ve been trained to believe that you should have love in your heart and you should not condemn them just because they are condemning you, but we wanna say to you that you can’t jump from being condemned and taking it hard all the way into love and sunshine and joy. You can’t do it; the frequencies are too far apart and we think that the knee-jerk response of revenge or anger is an approved vibration for you and what we feel from you and from so many who are sensitive and who want to be uplifters is that many of you have disallowed yourself the stepping stones along the way_on_the_way_ to your love and appreciation of everyone.

It’s sort of like... Jerry and Esther wanting to go from Phoenix to San Diego and finding themselves in Yuma and being so discouraged that they are not yet in san diego that they get disoriented and turn around and go back to phoenix.

So they go...(quickly)

phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma
phoenix yuma

and in time they say (dramatically and with angst), "We’ll neeeeever get to San Diegoooo. We must not be woooorthy of san diego. We must have done something in a past life that prevents us from getting to gooooo to san diego. There must be something in YUMA that is a higher puuuuurpose fooor us. God must want us to be in yuma. We must have done something really bad in a past life and karma tells us that _yuma_is_ our_ place_. (Huge audience laughter).

And we say, you come up with a lot of really funny things to explain why you don’t just line up with what you want, you see. So our message to you is you don’t line up all at once; you line up gradually.

Abraham, Boulder Workshop, CO 06-11-05