Mother's Day Message

Abraham (to a Mom), Syracuse NY, 9/28/2005

Guest: I really would appreciate your help in releasing the resistance of being bossy and not minding my own business, but feeling responsibility. And what are we responsible for? Who are we responsible for? So if we have a label of a Mom…

Abraham: The only responsibility that exists anywhere in the universe as far as we are concerned is the self-imposed responsibility of being who we are.

Guest: So mind my own business what other people might think or say…

Abraham: Jerry and Esther had some great amount of time on the last cruise with two grandchildren and their parents. And Jerry and Esther had several opportunity (sic) to play with Laurel and Kevin. (They are seven and four.)

And as they are playing together they are having extraordinary fun time. All four of them are at the height at of their game of life: laughing, feeling creative, in love with life.  And the sounds of pleasant laughter are wafting through the doorway, down the hallway, and Kevin and Laurel’s parents are standing outside for quite a long time listening to the fun that is going on inside not wanting to interrupt it.

And then Father Mark says to his children, “I used to have a lot of fun like you but now I have to be in charge.”

Guest: That’s that feeling.

Abraham: Because as he was listening he could feel the gay abandon that these four were living. J & E felt no responsibility whatsoever for the outcome of these children’s lives. And these children felt no responsibility whatsoever for the outcome of Jerry and Esther's lives. IOW, no one was worried about the outcome. All four of them were focused upon only one thing how much fun can we extract from this moment in time and how many Kikis will join us? How much fun will we have? How much of us can rendezvous in this…

And it was incredible the creativity, and the fun, and the cleverness, and the love, and the joy that the four of them managed to focus there and now. And Father and Mother who are listening close by are feeling the intoxicating draw of such fun, but deliberately holding themselves apart from it because somebody has to be in charge, and there’s this feeling that if you just let fun have its way with you that somehow you will be irresponsible or something will happen if you’re not watching out, if you’re not being careful, you see.

And what we’re wanting you to understand is that when you get into vibrational alignment with who you really are, all of the resources of the Universe are helping you to make the decisions that will keep you upon a path that will please you. You don’t have to hold yourself with any sort of rigid, determined guidance. When you get in the stream of well-being, well-being is the way your life plays out. It just must be, you see.

These parents are perhaps the most freedom-seeking, not only for themselves and for their children, but they still have this overlaying sense of responsibility that you are attempting to describe here. And in fact you used the word, “What is my responsibility?”

And that’s why we say and mean: Your ultimate and only responsibility is self-alignment and when you’ve got that everything else takes care of itself and until you’ve got that you’re just groping around out there in the dark stumbling around having some success and some failures but you have no real sense of what you’re doing, you see. Get Happy and then do anything that comes from that.

So, you’re right, when you’re having an experience when you feel grouchy, or where you feel betrayed, or where you feel dishonored, or where you feel that somebody could be more efficient, and you’ve been striving for efficiency all of your life, and have brought it to an art, and it’s hard to understand why others aren’t willing to at least make the same effort, we say you have to stop and ask yourself what’s really happening with me here? Am I succeeding in the only responsibility that truly matters? Am I in alignment with me?

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Co-Dependent vs Independent Relationships

Abraham-Hicks, Kansas City, MO 9/15/04-B

It is possible for you to be selfishly oriented and care about someone else at the same time, but you can't let what they want matter more to you than what you want, or you are going to get out of balance. Then that's where you start sacrificing, which lays the groundwork for resentment.

Then you find yourself in an adult relationship, like so many adults who have parents and parents who have adult children, and none of them even like each other because their relationship is based on sacrifice and resentment instead of upon balance and alignment and self-sufficiency.

[snip]

Someone who really wants to help really enjoys a needy friend, sort of a nice balance. "I like to help and you like to be helped, so we get along really good together."

But most of you have to acknowledge that the people who make your heart sing the most are those independent, self sufficient beings who aren't dependent upon you for their joy.

When someone says to you, "You need to do something so I can feel better", if there is only one of them, you might take them in as a friend. But if you get a handful of them, then you've got a burdensome crowd hanging around you.

© Abraham-Hicks Publications

Divorce and Children w/ Disabilities Part 3

Abraham-Hicks, Ft. Collins, CO 6-17-06

(Continued from Part 2 and Part 1.)

Abraham (to a divorcing mother - one of whose children has Cerebral Palsy):

And so, the thing that most often happens in divorce is that... it's sort of the thing where you'd rather be right than feel good? And, oh, much of your world cares more about being right. You get together in factions, and you try to get together in numbers, and you try to influence this with your numbers and that with your number.

All along taking all of that action and not going with the flow, and so even though you might be on top of the pile in terms of comparison with other humans you are a far cry from alignment with Who You Are. And so, you see masses of people that are so sure that they are right and in their rightness it is evident that they are nowhere near alignment with Source Energy.

And so, as you as a parent or as a mentor, as anybody who cares about anybody, or as anybody who cares about themselves, as you remind yourself, and then teach yourself, through effort - we know it takes it - to reach for the better feeling thought, and reach for the better feeling thought, and reach for the better feeling thought, what begins to happen is you come into alignment with Who You Are much easier than you think. And in that alignment your timing is good; the things that you say are right on target. In other words, and then you get in synch with the knowledge that these children have not yet forgotten. What a powerful combination that is, you see.

And so then, they go off to see their father, let's say. It's their time to be there. And as they do you worry, oh, now it's not going to be as good for them because I am in alignment, or working to be, and he is not.

(cell phone rings.)

Abraham: (ad libs) There he is now. (laughter)

Abraham: I am in alignment, or trying to be...and he is not. And we say, well, what's the worst thing that can happen? They have a comparative experience where now they want more alignment. And now they have an opportunity through your words and example to come into alignment.

And wouldn't it be wonderful if they could have a father that by earth standards was doing everything wrong, and they were still able to love him. Wouldn't that be something? If they could have this early experience of not letting something that ordinarily would be your reason for splitting you apart, not split you apart? Doesn't that mean that they would be ready for anything?

So, why would these children come into an environment that had this sort of destiny? And do you know what we mean by "destiny"? In other words, those vibrations were already in the works, so these energies that come forth, why would they come forth and rendevous with that? Because they understood the power of their own Guidance.

Why would a child come forth and live an experience that you are labeling a disease? Why would a child come forth and be less than that perfect child? Because that child is wanting to make the point that we do not have to control the circumstances that it is all about vibration and energy you see. Powerful teaching there.

So when you say, "I just want this child to be whole," we say that's the most whole person you have in your vicinity.

Guest: That's true, she's more clear than anybody I know.

Abraham: She came to make a point. And once she makes it, things may evolve. But as you stand looking at something and saying, "I want that not," and use that as your dramatic example of something that causes you to push hard against, it not only splits up your marriage, it splits up you. And when you're split up, you can't be happy. In other words, you got to come back into alignment.

So, there's nobody out there that can turn enough knobs that can change that condition into something that when you look at it you'll feel better. So what does that mean? You've got to find a way of feeling better without that condition changing. That's the promise you made to each other.

Guest: Thank-you.

(c) Abraham-Hicks Publications

Divorce and Children Part 2

Abraham-Hicks, Ft. Collins, CO 6-17-06

(Continued from Part 1.)

So let's say that you are discussing the children's father, and let's say that you don't feel all that good when you do. Let's say that you have very strong feelings of disempowerment and even anger within you as you approach that subject. And so, what we want to impart to you is that when you speak to your children about their father or about anything when you feel that way, you are presenting to them a contradicted being, a contradicted mother, because the Inner Being Mother is over here in this place of Pure Positive Energy and Love, and you are not. And so what you are offering is something that is really hard to hear. It's like the radio dial that is set on 630 while someone is trying to listen on 98.7. And so your children who are much closer to alignment will hear you better when you are in alignment.

And this is one of the most fascinating things about divorce is that if the children have the benefit of one or the other, it usually isn't both and it's rarely either one, but if the children have the benefit of one of the parents having come into conscious awarness that what they feel matters and this person has deliberately tried to think about that relationship in a way that feels best.... so that at least you're turning and going with the flow.... we're not saying that you have to be all the way over there in Love and Light, but at least you are no longer pushing against that, as you begin to turn and go with the flow, these children who are much more like your Inner Being than they are like you in your disconnected state, will begin to hear you.

They'll begin to hear the reasonable voice of well being that you are speaking and then if they have the benefit of another parent who is not doing that all the more reason for them to have a close up experience...in other words... Don't you find that.... there's a saying that 'you get more flies with honey that you do with vinegar' and isn't it the same sort of thing that as you become more Inner Being like that you will have a much stronger influence for your children.

Do not feel regret that you are a family that is split apart, instead, let your dominant intent be that you do not be a catalyst that splits your children apart, and by that we mean, apart from Who They Really Are. Let them continue to be the dominantly loving, good feeling beings that they are.

(to be continued)

The Positive Aspects Divorce Can Have for Chidren

Abraham-Hicks, Ft. Collins, CO 6-17-06

Guest: I think my biggest question has to do with relationships and specifically dealing with divorce and helping increase my children's ability to stay in alignment with Who They Really Are...

Abraham: First thing we'd like to say about children of divorced parents is that they have a wonderful opportunity to, at an earlier age than others, see Law of Attraction responding to different vibrational points of view. And when they have the benefit of someone up close to them that understands that, then they get an earlier opportunity to understand that they have more control over their life than they might have thought.

When children are born into a sort of feathered nest where two other people are doing everything that they can to make everything be just right, their opportunity for contrast and their opportunity to create their own vibrational escrow is slowed down a little bit, and therefore their opportunity to consciously feel the separation between Who They Really Are and who they are allowing themselves to be has more opportunity (pause)... some of those beliefs can become very well entrenched before you become enlightened to your own Guidance System and to that vibrational crevasse between Who You Really Are and what you are doing right now.

So imagine a child who early on is exposed to contrast and has a mentor up close to them who is teaching them that through the power of your thought you can bring yourself into alignment at an early early age, what an advantage that is. IOW, we won't find these children in some environment later on where they are holding to beliefs that are limiting and struggling to break loose of them because they have, at an early age, had an opportunity to understand the power of their own mind and the power of their good feelings.

So, we always say to parents, your children are the teachers because they still remember that All is Well, you see. They're not bucking the current, they're not fighting the flow, they Know That... until you get hold of them really good and train that out of them which most parents, in a well-meaning attitude, derogatorily do.

You can't teach your children through your words, you must teach through the clarity of your own example which means you have a hard job in having lived enough life where you're not easily releasing beliefs and going with the flow of Who You Are but that's the effort that you must make. You must reach for the best feeling thoughts that you can.

(To be continued.)

Are You Blessed with a Difficult Child? Or Are You a Difficult Child?

Excerpt from Abraham's latest book "The Vortex", p. 64

Many children are able to hold to their Broader Perspective even amidst strong human influence. They are often labeled by their parents and teachers as "problematic" or "troubled" children. They are often deemed "stubborn" and "incapable of learning," but we want you to know that a determination to guide oneself, and follow one's personal guidance, is an inherent intention that all are born with. Many are coming into physical form with an even more powerful intention of remaining connected to their own Broader Perspective, and the physical people who surround them are finding them less easy to dissuade from their own determinations. That is a good thing.

Many people have been socialized, in the sense that they commonly seek the approval of others, and they often live very difficult lives because it is no simple task to determine which, of the influential people who surround them, they should bend to.

And many people who have spent many years making an effort to fit in, to not make trouble, and to find approval from others finally reach the point of recognizing the futility of it, because no matter how hard they try to please others, the list of those who are not pleased with them remains longer than the list of those who are pleased. And who gets to decide what the right way of living is, anyway?

You are living in the wonderful time of Awakening. This is the time when more people will come into conscious realization of their own value. It is the time when fewer people will attempt the impossible task of pushing the unwanted far enough away that they will be left with only that which is wanted. It is the time when more people will come to the realization that what they have been long seeking is not a change in the behavior of others, or in the world outside of them -- over which they have no control -- but, instead, an understanding of their own Vibrational relationship with Source, over which they have complete control.

(c) Abraham Hicks Publications

Abraham on Parents, Teens and Piercings

Abraham-Hicks Jan/Feb/Mar 1997 newsletter

GUEST: I don’t get along with my father very well. He has very contradictory ideas about what I want to do, and I was wondering, if he wants something very strongly... Well, I want to pierce my belly button and he does not want me to do that. It’s like a sin, and so if he is wanting very much for me to have a whole complete belly button without any holes or anything, and I am wanting to have a belly ring, how will that work out?

ABRAHAM: All right, now, let us show you what’s happening here. Teenagers are the one example in all of the Universe that defies the Law of Attraction as we know it to be. (group laughs) We are having fun with you.

What happens with any two groups or two armies or any two people that are wanting something different from the other...what happens is, as your father knows clearly what he does not want and gives that his attention, he is disempowered, which makes him mad at you, because it is his attention to you that makes him feel so bad. As you see your father as someone big and strong and in your way from what you want, you are disempowered, which makes you want to blame him for the way you feel. You’re both using each other as your excuse to not be connected to your Energy Stream.

So as each of you, independently from each other, focuses upon what you don’t want, momentarily, because that’s always the best way to identify what you do want. So your father would say, “Well I know what I don’t want. I don’t want her puncturing her body. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want her wearing something that is a symbol of something that I don’t feel comfortable with. It could mean any number of things, but it is representation of something that I am not at one with. I don’t want her getting a belly button ring because I wouldn’t get one. I don’t want her getting a belly ring because it makes her appear to be something other than what I want her to appear to be.”

Now, having said that, his desire may be erupting within him, and so then he could begin saying, “What I want to include, relative to my daughter, is I want her to be so at one with who she is that she acknowledges that all is well with her. I want her to feel so self-sufficient about who she is that she doesn’t have to do anything faddish in order to fit in. I want her to feel so confident and so comfortable and so connected to who she is that she just radiates the essence of that and doesn’t feel any desire to go the way of the fad. I want her to acknowledge that her magnificent body is young and beautiful and delicious, and I want her desire to be to hold it in that place forevermore.”

Now, if your father is saying those kinds of things to you, we don’t think you’d feel so much resistance about it. When he taps into the pure essence of his Nonphysical Energy and expresses that to you, you would not feel nearly so much resistance.

Now, let’s say that you’re saying, “I don’t want somebody telling me what I can and cannot do. I don’t want somebody else making their decisions for me. I don’t want somebody else making the decisions about what I do with my own body.” So you know what you don’t want. And then you begin making your statements of inclusion. “I want my daddy to realize that I’m all grown up. I want him to know that I really know what I’m doing. I want to be self-sufficient. I want to be...”

All of a sudden, when you both start including, you find yourself saying the same kinds of things. In other words, you are in absolute harmony about what you want. And the belly ring is superfluous to any of it. Get it or don’t get it. It doesn’t matter. You can both still have what you want.

(c) Abraham Hicks Publications

Abraham Video Excerpt: Father/Son Relationship Issues

Abraham counsels a guy on his relationship with his father (excerpted from Law of Attraction in Action DVD):

Abe to a Guy Stuck in Mom's Basement

Guest:...I still live at home. And right now, I guess I've been wanting to move out, but I haven't taken the action, or the dream, or the thoughts haven't been there to...

ABRAHAM: Well, you feel like you're in a trap. You're not ready to move out, financially, and yet you feel bad about not moving out. And so, any way you look at it, it closes your valve. When you say, "I'm old enough. I should be out on my own," and your mother says, "You're old enough! You SHOULD be out on your own!" then that's a lackful thought that closes your valve! And yet when you think, "OK. I'll move out tomorrow," and you envision yourself out there living in a cardboard box, that closes your valve, too!

And so, what's happening is you're asking too much of the now. What you're wanting to do is start dreaming about moving out. Start envisioning moving out. Start imagining having your own place. Start imagining maybe having a roommate. Start imagining something that is more pleasing than what-is. And, when you spend more time with the vision of what you want, than you are with the reality of what-is, the reality of what-is will shift to the vision. All sorts of things you cannot right now imagine will begin to happen!

Phoenix, AZ 04-26-94

Abe: Mother's Day Message

Abraham to a Mom on 9/28/2005 in Syracuse, NY

Q: I really would appreciate your help in releasing the resistance of being bossy and not minding my own business, but feeling responsibility. And what are we responsible for? Who are we responsible for? So if we have a label of a Mom…

Abe: The only responsibility that exists anywhere in the universe as far as we are concerned is the self-imposed responsibility of being who we are.

Q. So mind my own business what other people might think or say…

Abe: J & E had some great amount of time on the last cruise with two grandchildren and their parents. And J & E had several opportunity (sic) to play with Laurel and Kevin. (They are seven and four.)

And as they are playing together they are having extraordinary fun time. All four of them are at the height at of their game of life: laughing, feeling creative, in love with life.  And the sounds of pleasant laughter are wafting through the doorway, down the hallway, and Kevin and Laurel’s parents are standing outside for quite a long time listening to the fun that is going on inside not wanting to interrupt it. 

And then Father Mark says to his children, “I used to have a lot of fun like you but now I have to be in charge.”

Q: That’s that feeling.

Abe: Because as he was listening he could feel the gay abandon that these four were living. J & E felt no responsibility whatsoever for the outcome of these children’s lives. And these children felt no responsibility whatsoever for the outcome of J & E’s lives. IOW, no one was worried about the outcome. All four of them were focused upon only one thing how much fun can we extract from this moment in time and how many Kikis will join us? How much fun will we have? How much of us can rendezvous in this…

And it was incredible the creativity, and the fun, and the cleverness, and the love, and the joy that the four of them managed to focus there and now. And Father and Mother who are listening close by are feeling the intoxicating draw of such fun, but deliberately holding themselves apart from it because somebody has to be in charge, and there’s this feeling that if you just let fun have its way with you that somehow you will be irresponsible or something will happen if you’re not watching out, if you’re not being careful, you see.

And what we’re wanting you to understand is that when you get into vibrational alignment with who you really are, all of the resources of the Universe are helping you to make the decisions that will keep you upon a path that will please you. You don’t have to hold yourself with any sort of rigid, determined guidance. When you get in the stream of well-being, well-being is the way your life plays out. It just must be, you see.

These parents are perhaps the most freedom-seeking, not only for themselves and for their children, but they still have this overlaying sense of responsibility that you are attempting to describe here. And in fact you used the word, “What is my responsibility?”

And that’s why we say and mean: Your ultimate and only responsibility is self-alignment and when you’ve got that everything else takes care of itself and until you’ve got that you’re just groping around out there in the dark stumbling around having some success and some failures but you have no real sense of what you’re doing, you see. Get Happy and then do anything that comes from that.

So, you’re right, when you’re having an experience when you feel grouchy, or where you feel betrayed, or where you feel dishonored, or where you feel that somebody could be more efficient, and you’ve been striving for efficiency all of your life, and have brought it to an art, and it’s hard to understand why others aren’t willing to at least make the same effort, we say you have to stop and ask yourself what’s really happening with me here? Am I succeeding in the only responsibility that truly matters? Am I in alignment with me?

And an easy way to bring that back around is “Alright Kiki, or Inner Being,  whoever you are, names don’t matter, how are you looking at this? How do you feel about this? Because clearly, you feel differently than I do. That’s why I feel so rotten. How are YOU looking at this?

And when you ask the question, and whatever name appeals to you, in other words, we love “Kiki” because “Kiki” is a reality for our friend that he can conceptualize where “God” you are more aloof from, more apart from, and “Abraham” you’re not so sure about, and “Inner Being” you don’t…IOW, you’ve got to determine some label that references some non-physical energy that you can make a reality in your mind so that you can feel the vibe of that reference point. That’s why we’re talking about these points of vibrational relativity. Those coordinates are about vibrational points of relativity, and until you’ve established what those two points are, and what the relationship with each other is, you don’t have any accurate information that’s coming forth.

So we tell you again and again that that one point of vibrational relativity which is who you really is (sic) is always strong, and always feels good, it’s always beaming a signal, you can always feel it, just stop more often and see where you are in the vibe of that.

If you’re ornery you’re far apart from it.

If you’re overwhelmed, you’re far apart from it.

If you’re feeling victimized, you’re really far apart from it.

If you are feeling revenge, you’re pretty far apart from it.

If you are feeling hopeful, you’re not so far apart from it.

If you’re feeling optimistic, you’re not so far apart from it.

If you’re beginning to believe that life is good, you’re not so far apart from it.

And when you know that you are worthy and that well-being is yours, then there is no discord in the vibration at all you are sending one signal, and then your bossiness isn’t bossiness, it’s knowingness; it’s confidence; it’s loving guidance; it’s powerful expectation. 

It’s part of the signal that still calls, but everybody doesn’t respond to it. They all can’t hear it because some of them are too far from it, and that’s when you start flipping out. IOW when you get in alignment and you want them to just follow their bliss and come right to where you often are, that’s one thing, but when they’re over there in that place that you can’t reach them, we think that’s why you sort of freak out and go down there to try and rescue them, but don’t do that. Stay up there and let them come to you or let them drown.

M: Drowning is good. Drowning is good. For my sake. One last question…

Abe: Let them come to you or let them find someone else as their intermediary teacher.

Q: And they will right?  They will.

Abe: Every time.

Q: They will everytime

Abe: Every time.

Q: Thank you.

Abe: Yes, indeed.